Fleeting Sparks (BoyXBoy)

Chapter Two- Hot or Not

Three Months Later

     A few months have passed and Casey and I aren't together anymore. By now, I thought that she would take me back, but I guess she is done with my bullshit. That was the first time I ever pulled a stunt like that and I guess this was my punishment. The thing I miss the most is when we would lay on her couch or bed together, whispering things into each other's ear. Keeping each other warm, even when the frigid winds of winter came knocking on my door. She was the light of my life and I messed it up. There wasn't any way I could get her back. She was completely done with me and that was completely understandable. She wanted nothing to do with me anymore, we spoke on two separate occasions. It was only the last occasion where she told me she never wanted to speak to me again. I upheld that and haven't spoken to her in a month and a half.

     I had to stop obsessing over her. I constantly see her face everywhere I go. I was truly a fool for letting her go. She was always on my mind, constantly thinking about who we used to be. I had to get her off my mind; more importantly figure out whether or not I liked guys.

    Over this weekend I downloaded this app on my phone. It was called "Hot or Not" and I set my preferences to guys to see what I could accomplish. This constant battle in my mind was nerve wracking. I was walking down the street the other day when I saw a fairly attractive guy with a nice body walking toward me. I glanced at him, gazing up and down at his toned, tan body. His short black hair glistening in the October sun and waving at me when the wind blew. The air was brisk, causing my white skin to turn a tad pink in the cold. He had a red and black plaid scarf wrapped around his neck, which contrasted his black hooded sweater. His jawline, sharp enough to cut my fingers if I grazed it. I looked down at his legs as he walked by me, his muscles in his legs pulsating within his skinny jeans. My body felt hot and agitated just feeling his presence almost touch me. I felt like turning around and reaching out to touch him but that would be very weird and unexpected of me. Not to mention he'd probably hit me for touching him.

     When I downloaded the app, I was beginning to feel nervous. I didn't know whether or not the people on here were total creeps looking for sex or eighty-year-old men looking for a sugar baby to take care of. Either way, I wanted to avoid those two parties. I put in my email address and posted some not-so-provocative pictures of myself; just to make sure I wasn't leading on any people who may think I'm on here for sex. In the end, they were fairly decent selfies; none of them were shirtless though. Not to brag or anything but I think I had a pretty decent, toned body underneath this clothing. I had a couple years of football under my belt, which gave me a set of four-pack abs I've been dreaming of since I was old enough to know society's body standards of men. I scrolled and swiped through men of my age that seemed eligible for me to talk to, without being completely creeped out. I'm totally judging the books by their covers but that's besides the point. What seemed like minutes of judging people on their looks and biographies turned out to be an hour. I decided to turn my phone and lay my back on the bed. Suddenly, I heard a loud thud of a pan dropping followed by several curse words. I jolted out of bed and ran out of my room to make sure my mother was okay. When I got to the kitchen, there were cookies scattered on the counter tops and floor.

"What happened in here?"

"Oh nothing, I slipped on some butter I dropped on the floor. I'll be alright, I just need to make a new batch". I helped her pick up the scattered cookies and throw them in the trash.

"You work yourself too hard mom. You need to relax".

"Someone has to pay the bills here Nicolas" She said in a hostile tone. "This is the only way we can decrease the rent enough to stay here".

"I know but you're working yourself to the point where you'll put yourself in the hospital. You need to rest mom".

"Maybe you're right. I am so exhausted with baking these God forsaken cookies. At least they sell like hotcakes". She smiled at me and ran a hand through my thick, brown hair and pushed it back.

"You have your father's handsomeness you know that?". Her smile then faded to a frown. I could see she was still hurt by my father's passing. I can tell she truly loved him. When I finished cleaning up with her, she lightly pushed me into the direction of my bedroom.

"I feel like I need to be alone Nicolas. I'll call you when supper is ready". I smiled and nodded at her and walked into my bedroom. I swung the door and closed it lightly and plopped my body onto my bed again. I picked up my phone and pressed the power button and noticed there was a little flame icon at the top of my screen. I pulled the tab bar down and noticed someone had matched with me. I pressed on the icon and it said a man by the name of "Cman97" had matched with me. He had no picture, so I didn't want to talk to him. Until he messaged me fairly quickly. It was just a regular greeting within the small white box next to his unidentified picture. I looked at the "Hi, how are you?" for about two minutes before I decided to reply back with a "Good, How are you?". First, I thought he would take forever to reply back but he messaged back very quickly; almost very eager to message me. The conversation moved to hobbies and favorite things to do. He didn't seem like a creep, he actually seemed like a general human being looking for someone special. We actually shared some of the same hobbies like guitar and football; he seemed like a nice boy.

     I asked why he didn't have a picture and he told me he wasn't completely comfortable with people looking at him. He also wasn't sure whether or not he liked guys or not; which seemed to be another thing we had in common. I wasn't about to tell him that though. Our conversation felt like hours but really lasted an hour. He sure knew how to make time fly by.

    As the conversation progressed, I feel we connected on a very intimate level. I wanted to meet him in person and get to know him better; regardless of what he looked like. When I proposed the idea, he quickly turned me down and dropped the topic. A few minutes later he told me he had to go and that he would message me later on tomorrow. I smiled slightly, knowing that I connected with a guy while still very much confused on my sexuality. He was an enigma wrapped in a mystery and I was something I shared with him. I closed my phone and drifted off to sleep, not caring about dinner or anything of the sort.