Sidelining

Chap. 7: Awkward....

*imitates British accent* hello lovelies! I'm bored af so I'm updating again you are so lucky to have me!!! Lmao so before I start I just wanna say you people are fucking amazing and ilysmrn!!!!! 😘😘😘
-M.
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Eva's POV
When I woke up the next morning, there was a pair of muscular arms wrapped around my waist. Tf?!?

I turned and saw Jackson. He actually looked really adorable and peaceful, fast asleep. My first thought was to punch him to wake him up, but then I had a better idea. I popped a mint in my mouth (what?!? I don't want bad breath!!!) and got close to Jackson's face.

"Jackson..." I whispered. "Hey, Jackson, wake up." I stroked his cheek, and he groaned and rolled over. On top of me. Wow, I was not expecting that! There goes the plan to slap him as soon as he was awake...

I tried to push him off of me, but he was waaaayyyy too heavy.
I really have to work on my arm strength! I thought. I punched his stomach, but only got a fistful of rock hard abs.

"Shit!" I muttered, rubbing my hand. Jackson stirred slightly, and suddenly I was aware of how close his face was to mine. I almost lost it, as I felt...something...poke my leg. Oh. My. God. I shuddered and squirmed away from it.

Deciding I was sick of this, I pinched his cheek. Hard.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed, and sat up. "Why'd you do that???"

"You were laying on top of me. And your little friend was making me extremely uncomfortable," I responded.

"You wouldn't have minded last night..." Jackson trailed off pervertedly.

"What are you talking abo-" I stopped short and, judging by the heat in my face, turned bright red. "Oh lord. I...um....I was delirious! I didn't know what I was saying!!!"

"And what exactly were you saying?"

"Don't play dumb you little mofo!!!"

"Awww...that's not nice!"

"Your face isn't nice."

"Now you're just flat out lying!"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"It doesn't. You do."

I didn't know what to say. Jackson maintained eye contact, but I stared at my feet. He did it again, just like he did the other night, in the woods behind his house. He made me feel special. The last person to do that was...not a good person. Could I trust Jackson? No, I decided. I couldn't. I just couldn't risk it again.

"I...um...I think it's time for breakfast," I blurted. "Yeah..."

I turned and walked out of the room, down the hall. Locking myself in the bathroom, I stood in front of the mirror and gripped the sides of the vanity. Suddenly, I had an urge I hadn't felt in two years.

"Stupid, hideous, idiotic, weak, mean, bitchy, slut, ugly, fat, worthless little whore that couldn't please a guy to save her life." The words echoed in my head, and my eyes burned with tears.

"Don't do it, Eva. Don't do it. You can hold out. You're stronger than the words, Eva. You're stronger," I told myself, but the words that once helped were now empty. The girl that spoke them to me was dead. Gone forever, and the words were just words now. I dug my nails into my palm and gritted my teeth.

Just grab the razor, said a little voice in my head. You could end it right here, right now.

Don't do it, Eva, spoke another. It's not worth it. It hurt last time, remember? What will your siblings do without you? It'll be your fault if your dad goes on a rampage! And what about your friends? Two friends in less than a week???