Six Degrees of Seperation (Book Two in the Glen Power Series)

Chapter 18

I'm not sure what happened, but somehow me and Mark went from 'we can't do this' to 'let's do this all the time'. Any spare time we have together we spend in bed. All that can set us off is a glance, or a touch, or a word. It's like walking on very exciting eggshells that you want to break all the time. It's liberating. I've never felt so free in my life.

But as much as I'm enjoying this new found exhilarating experience, I'm aware of the fact that I'm using Mark as a distraction. So aware, in fact, that any time Glen crosses my mind, I make sure that I end up in bed with Mark as soon as I can. I'm pretty sure that I'm being used for the same thing.

I suppose I'm in a state of denial. If I pretend the problem isn't there then I don't have to deal with it. And what better way to forget about everything than heated fucking?

That's exactly what we call what we're doing. Fucking. Pure and simple. There's no love or emotion put into it. It's raw and dirty and fucking hot. It's very different to what I'm used to...

Shit. I can't do this right now. Where the fuck is Mark?

I head straight to the kitchen, and sure enough there he is. He hears me come in and turns around. He knows exactly what I need and makes a bee-line straight for me, a dark look in his eyes. Our bodies crash together and I realise how easy it is to get what I need these days.

We blindly stumble backwards to the wall and he pushes me hard against it. His hands roughly run up and down my sides, digging his fingers into my thighs. I groan into his lips. This is what I need.

“What are you doing to me?” he grunts. I don't answer with words. I just push him in the direction of the bedroom. “I've never been like this before.”

“Shut up.”

“You're just so...”

“Shut. Up.”

We fall into the bedroom and I feel him hit the end of the bed.

“I mean it. Rina's...”

That's it. I push him on to the bed, seeing the lust in his eyes.

“Stop fucking talking.”

He nods and pulls me on top of him into a frantic kiss. I can't handle him talking about Rina right now. If he does, then I'll think about...

No. I push hard against him, feeling him groan in pleasure. I'm going to be in control. I'm going to forget his name. I'm just going to fuck. And that's it.

********************

We wake up from our sex-fuelled coma and the night has fallen. We're still tangled up in one another. This is something that doesn't usually happen for us.

“Are we ever going to talk?” he whispers in the darkness.

I don't really want to. Talking about things will just bring back horrible emotions that I don't want to face. But I suppose we have to.

“Okay.”

I feel him shift as he untangles himself. But he leaves his arm around me, his hand resting on my gently on my elbow.

“Okay.”

Neither of us say anything. How are we supposed to start this conversation? Neither of us know what's going on, so where do you begin with something so crazy?

Eventually, he sighs. “Why is this situation so fucked up?”

“I don't know.”

“What are we even doing?”

“Fucking.”

“Yeah. But why are we fucking? This isn't us. This isn't what we do.”

“I know.” There's silence again, and a thought crosses my mind. “Remember when we were talking in the pub?”

“Yeah.”

“Was that girl me?”

I hear him sigh, and he rests his forehead against mine. “Yeah.”

“Okay. So. Have you got it out of your system yet?”

He doesn't answer. Not immediately anyway. And definitely not in the way that I thought he would. Instead of words, he places a kiss on my lips. It's so soft and gentle. Completely different to everything that's happened this past week.

“I told you. I'm confused. I love Rina. I fucking love her. But you...you drive me fucking insane. I know you don't feel the same...”

“How d'you know?”

“Because I know you feel the same about Glen as I do about Rina.”

“I don't know how I feel about Glen.”

That hurt to say. That really fucking hurt to say. But it's the truth. I need to stop avoiding this and deal with it.

“And how d'you feel about me? D'you know that?”

“I don't understand how I feel about you.” Another truth. “All I know is that I want you around me. All the time. And it feels wrong when you aren't here. I start to panic when I have to think about anything that involves you leaving. But I feel so fucking guilty. You're Rina's. You love her. And she loves you. And here I am fucking up everything because of...”

My voice catches and I push back the tears. This is the first time I've made any sense of how I feel, and it's difficult.

“You have feelings for me?” he asks softly.

“I don't know,” I whisper back. “I really don't know.”

“What if we gave it a go?”

“What about Rina? And Glen?”

“We're single. We broke up with them. And we're really really confused about how we feel about each other. So, why don't we just try it? And like you said. Get it out of our system. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, then we'll know what we want to do.”

Would it really be such a bad idea? I care about Mark, that's for damn sure. And he cares about me. And we've both been each other's rock since I moved here. And now that we've started talking about these things, it may be easier to talk it through.

I feel his hand on my elbow, gently rubbing up and down. It doesn't feel wrong.

“What d'you think?”

I make my decision. I close the gap between us, feeling his smile against my lips. I can't help but match it.

“Okay.”

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A/N - Okay...so, I don't really know how the last chapter went down. A lot of wow's and uh-oh's...is that a good thing? I don't really know. And somehow I feel that this chapter is going to go down very similarly. I really hope the twist is a good one and making you all want to read on. There WILL be a conclusion to this story. A definite one anyway, because I know Emie's being a little...indecisive. And there will be a couple more chapters of her not knowing, let me warn you now. But there IS an ending coming. And then there will be one more, or possibly two more, stories. Gonna make a little series haha. Please let me know what you're thinking. I'm trying really hard with this story to make it different to all the ones you've read before. Really like to know if it's working. Vote and comment and all that stuff. Yeah. Bit worried to be honest. Much love x