Six Degrees of Seperation (Book Two in the Glen Power Series)

Chapter 5

The next few days are a bit frantic. It turns out that Mark has not only shown my music to this producer, but he's started applying for me to come work over here in the local dentists. And I have a few interviews too. Glen is desperately trying to encourage me to take these jobs, but it's all becoming a bit too much.

“I have a life with you in Ireland! I can't just give that up!"

“I'll come over here with you.”

“But I like being in Ireland. I'm content there, Glen.”

“But this is your big chance! How can you pass it up?”

“I don't want to lose you.”

He sighs and pulls me into his arms.

“Why do you think you'll lose me?”

“You can't just drop everything. You haven't got another job opportunity here. You're going to have to stay in Ireland until you can find yourself a job here. What if you find someone new?”

“We've had this conversation before, babe.”

“That's when I thought it was you who would be the one to be noticed.”

“Why does this change anything?”

I hesitate. I don't know why I'm feeling so insecure all of a sudden. My mind flickers back to our first ever heart to heart. He told me he slept around with loads of girls before he met me. So that's why my brain is going haywire. All that's running through my head is the image of Glen running around drunk, trying it on with all these skimpily-dressed girls...

“Talk to me, babe. Let me in.”

I can't tell him that. We're doing so well. How can I turn around and tell him the thoughts running through my head? I'm so ashamed that I've suddenly reverted back into this person. I huddle into his chest.

“I can't.”

“Come on. What's going on in that brain of yours?”

He tries to push me away to look at me, but I resist. I can't look him in the eye right now. If I do, I might cry. I'm already on the brink...

I feel him sigh softly and he rubs my back.

“I get it,” he whispers. “I get it.”

I burst into tears. I'm so fucking disgusted in myself right now. My paranoia has been in check for such a long time. But the amount of stress that I'm under right now is clearly making everything a lot more sensitive.

“I'm sorry,” I sob. “I can't get it out of my head.”

“It's okay.”

“No, it's not. Everything is just so overwhelming and I just can't stop seeing you...Seeing you...”

“You want to know a secret?”

I pull away and look at him. My nose is running, my eyes are red and my lips are swollen. I can feel it. But he's still looking at me like I'm the only one in the world that matters. I nod at him and wipe my face.

“I still have dreams about you with him.”

That revelation comes as a bit of a shock. How could he even think...

“It's stupid, I know. But when I went back to Ireland and you went home, all I could think of was that you would go back to him. I don't know why, but I was so scared of losing you again. And sometimes I dream of the time where you were happy with him. When you didn't need me in your life. And it kills me. And those are the nights I wake you up just to love you. Because I need to know that you're still mine and that you want me just as much as I want you.”