Phoenix

Down memory lane

"The one thing worse than death is to avert your eyes from it. Look straight at the people you kill. Dont take your eyes off them for a second. And dont ever forget them, because I promise that they wont forget you. "

~Iris~

I am five years old and in the living room. I am flanked on either side by my parents, when I am with them I am safe, protected... untouchable. A cry from my left alerts me to a change in the scenery, I am eight years old and my mother is emaciating before my very eyes. Her skin is turning sallow and her face is becoming gaunt, what remains of her is a mere eclipse of the great woman that was my mom. The room starts to morph again and I am at my mothers funeral. An eleven year old me rushes towards my father for comfort. Had I known this would be the last time he looked at me with love,I would have held on longer, tighter.

Fast forward and I am being impaled in the hand with a broken beer bottle by my father while his bloodshot eyes meet mine. I wake up screaming.

I did'nt realize when I fell asleep, the sleepless nights are taking their toll on me. I hate these dreams, it is not the beatings that scare me but visions of my mother. How she grew helpless before my very eyes but remained smiling till the end. I walk towards the school and towards my first class of the day. It is my first day of senior year and my classmates seem noisier than ever. Either that or I've just forgotten what its like.I am a recluse but only by choice. Maddy comes and greets me and I reply back. My lack of enthusiasm doesnt faze her, she believes that someday I'll be ready to face my demons and she'll be here to help. I highly doubt that. I guess she is the closest thing I have to a friend. She was my best friend before it all changed for me but in a way I am glad for her.She is one of the popular people and nobody bothers me because of her.Not that I could'nt handle anything thrown my way, my second degree blackbelt is useful like that.

Just before class starts a boy enters the class. He has one of those personalities that fill a room, that demand to be noticed. Not that I care. I look up though but catch him looking at me and immediately look down, I wont be making that mistake again. Class drags along without a problem. I'm not autistic or anything but I've never gotten less than 95% on a test but I figure thats genetic, since both my parents were whiz kids. It does help me keep the teachers off my back though and for that I am glad, I have enough problems of my own.

Classes fly by and at lunch I find myself at my locker where the new kid is trying to get the locker next to mine open. He's grunting and pulling and its driving me nuts, so I push him aside and knock on a specific place near the catch making the door swing forward.All lockers have a trick, you just need to know it.

I scoot past him on my way to the school yard but someone grabs my hand. I automatically flip them on their back and have them pinned to the floor in no time. Its the new kid. The one with the crystal eyes. Regardless, I don't like being touched. I pass a cursory glance and notice his features are elegant, aristrocratic even. I also notice Im choking him, so I let go and walk away like nothing happened. Before I go out of earshot I hear him mutter something, 'I only wanted to thank you' as I decipher later that night.