Phoenix

Uncharted waters

" When things break, it's not the actual breaking that stops them from getting back together again. It's because a little piece gets lost - the two remaining ends could'nt fit together even if they wanted to. The whole shape has changed. "

~ Ryan ~

The house, if possible was even cleaner than her truck. There was'nt a speck of dust to be seen anywhere and the very floors seemed to gleam. I came to the realization that unless her father had remarried or gotten a housekeeper, all this cleanliness was her doing. This gave me some insight into her life as I came to the conclusion that maintaining order in her personal space gave her a semblance of control over her surroundings. Either that or she was a major neat freak.

" Umm Iris...Is anybody else home?"

She turned on me with a glare and said " Dont get any ideas Ryan, you know full well that I'm more than capable of handling you"

"Sheesh no need to get defensive, I was just asking. Anyway, you would'nt have the heart to harm this pretty face" I joked.

"Try me" , she replied icily and I did'nt dare.After all, mama did'nt raise no fool!

We ended up in the living room and I got tge feeling that spreading my books haphazardly around the coffee table was causing Iris something akin to physical pain. I knew she would deny it if I asked so I tried to clean up a bit. After a minute and a few calming breaths on her behalf we began. I realized that I need'nt have worried about my tutelage at all because Iris was an excellent teacher. Infact this was probably the first time I had seen her so animated. It seemed that being in her own territory made her more communicative fir which I was glad. I could'nt stand normal math classes, a quiet class with me as the sole pupil would probably kill me.

Iris seemed adamant for me to learn. After explaining and demonstrating, she gave me a few questions to work on. I wanted to make a good impression so I started working diligently. When I looked up, Iris was scribbling in a notepad.

"Whatcha working on? "

"My suicide note but Im kinda stuck on the ending." she threw back nonchalantly.

Oh so she has a sense of humour I thought. Lets play along shall we.

"How are you going to do it?"

"Do what?"

"Commit suicide ofcourse."

"Oh that. My plans tend to change often."

"How are you planning to do it as of this moment?" I asked, not willing to let her slip back into silence.

"Do you really want to know?"

"I would'nt have asked if I didnt."

"Okay then. Today I'm leaning towards self immolation. I can picture it as we speak. Crawling from my bed in the dead of the night and walking towards the kitchen. I'd grab a knife and make slight cuts on my finger. I'd wait a while to let the blood drip on the floor while I tacked my suicide note to the refrigerator. I'd then write a little farewell note on the wall in my blood. It would state " My body now lies within the woods, cold as my soul and as black as my heart.". After that I'd leave the house barefooted armed with matches and lighter fluid from underneath the sink. I'd walk the miles to the woods while my bare feet would first start to bruise and then bleed profusely as I would carry on numb to sensation. I'd reach the woods and amble on towards a grassy clearing that offered me a view of the stars. I'd stand still for a while, letting my blood stain the grass beneath my feet after which I'd look up towards the stars and pour the flammable liquid all over me, my last purifying bath. I'd then light the match and go up in flames where any scavengers who passed would get to feast on my charred remains. I'd be gone forever, a haunting memory of a girl nobody cared about and a troubled soul no one knew. I'd be talked about for a few days but then I would fade away in the shadows as if I did'nt even exist" , she ended with a grim ghost of a smile.

After a minute or so when I finally snapped back to my senses I stated "Girl you have a very twisted sense of humour."

"Who said I was kidding?" she replied and that was the end of our remarkably long conversation. Five minutes later, she ushered me out of the house.

That night I had vivid nightmares of the scene Iris had painted in my mind and I woke up panting. I was scared for Iris's safety, my only consolation being that I had gotten a chance to hide the lighter fluid.

"A.N: This chapters gives a bit more insight into Iris's mind (warped isnt it? (; ).Also this is my longest stint as a writer and I hope you guys dont forget to vote and comment.

Book of the chapter: Lord loss by Darren Shan

Until next time =)"