Rebellion

Chapter Ten: Edward

Chapter Ten: Edward

            I woke up in a cold sweat, panting and gasping, and peered through the darkness for any sign of the demons that haunted my nightmares. I felt foolish as I realized what I was doing, and glanced over at Luna’s sleeping form.

            At least, I thought, she didn’t witness my folly.

            I closed my eyes, and conjured images of happier days to combat the nightmares.

            I imagined walking the halls, a book in my hand, my father speaking of war next to me, telling me that I must be a man and fight because not everything could be solved by my beloved diplomacy and there must be war to right some wrongs.

            I imagined my mother at one of the many dinner parties she would throw to cover up my father’s business meetings with men like him who craved war. She would wear flowers in her hair and smile across the table at my father and laugh at the stories she’d heard a million times as he told them yet again to men who knew them all by heart.

            I imagined my sister the day of her wedding, how nervous and beautiful she was, waiting to be made Garyn’s wife. The way they made such an absurdly perfect couple as she was so petite and he towered over her. She barely stood even with the bottom of his ribcage, but you’d never think of it once you saw the looks on their faces—the looks that said that they’d never love anyone else the way they loved each other, the looks that said they were meant to be because no one else could ever be as perfect for either of them. The fervent promise in Karissa’s voice as she promised herself forever to him. The look in Garyn’s eyes as he returned the vow.

            I remembered the way things had been that last day, and I wished for anything that I hadn’t begun, because now it was too late to stop the memories that threatened every day to overwhelm me, that haunted me every time I closed my eyes. I remembered the smell of smoke and the consuming flames, the screams of terror, the lifeless body of my mother, her eyes still open, my father dead on the floor in front of her, his hand still on the sword he didn’t have a chance to draw before they sliced him open.

            The coppery smell of blood that clung to my skin and my clothes and the taste of it in my mouth.

            I clawed at my skin, trying to rid myself of the stench as I lurched to my feet, still trapped in the torments of that day.

            The pain of the wounds they inflicted on me before they left me to die as the building burned around me.

            The sound of my voice, desperately calling Karissa’s name, praying to anyone who would listen to please spare her, to not let her die too. To let her be safe in Garyn’s manor across the realm. To let the de Vere line go on through her and her children, if the rest of us must die for Giovanni to be satisfied.

            The feeling of being dragged, just before blackness claimed me.

            Waking up, and realizing that I was completely, utterly alone.

            I couldn’t control my shaking. My hands trembled as the memories attacked me in waves, never slackening their hold long enough for me to escape what I’d been repressing for so long.

            I staggered to the nearest tree, letting it hold me up as my stomach threatened to revolt and empty itself of its contents.

            And then somehow Luna was there, and the feeling of her arms around me and her warmth and her scent were enough to pull me back far enough from the edge so that my pain was bearable and I could breathe again.