We Were Supernova

211

As soon as Lori leaves Chris is chasing after her. They leave me alone in the kitchen with a bucket of Chinese rice in my hands. I shrug, grab a spoon and head out of their house. The rice is finished by the time I get home and I throw the empty carton in the trash and I notice the house is missing a few items. The car keys are on the counter and there's a note next to it but I don't bother to read it as I grab the keys to the car and head out.

I plan on going to the hospital where Sammy's at. Wait where is he? Damn. I pull out my phone and click on Lori's contact in my phone. She doesn't answer.

"Damn." I mumble as I toss the phone in the passenger seat. I think I know where he is. I rush into the hospital and run to the nurse.

"Sammy Loray?"

She looks up at me, her expression blank. "Immediate family?"

"I'm his sister." I roll my eyes. Stupid family hospital shit.

"His sister was just in here,"

"Lori? He has 2 sisters. I'm one of them. Let me see him." I rest my hands on blue counter that separates me from being able to wrap my hands around her neck and coke her. I give her a smile. She returns a fake one.

"Room 211"

I slowly turn, my heart pumping faster in my chest. I put my hand over my heart making sure it's not going to explode.

"It's to the left-"

"I know where it is." I cut her off.

The room 2 doors from where I almost died and someone did. I slowly turn the corner and see the bold print. 211.

His hospital room.

With the bed in which he died. Where he took his least breath. He took his last breath alone. All alone.

I raise my hand as I look down at the tiled floor and run my fingers over the metal number. I can just imagine his body being rolled out of the room. His lifeless body. The body that was once full of life just a few hours before he even knew this hospital existed.

"Kolby! That's my son! That's my son! Oh god!"

I hear a woman screaming from the hallway. A woman that sounds faintly like my mother. I pull my legs out of the bed and rip the IV from my arm. An alarm sounds that pierces my ears but I ignore it. I can feel blood slowly trickling down my arm as I leave my room.

"No! Kolby no! Oh!"

The screaming continues as I step out into the hallway and see my mother. She doesn't see me. She's being cradled by man in a long white jacket. The doctor I'm assuming. I barely have to push past the nurses and as I take a step into the room 211 my heart stops beating and my breathing ceases.

The floor has blood smeared almost everywhere. I don't know who's blood it is until I look up at the bed and I can see Kolby's dreads sticking up from the red bed sheet that is supposed to be white. I slowly take a step into the room trying my hardest to ignore my mothers screams.

His lips are as white as the walls of the hospital which I want to rip down at this very moment. His eyes are close like curtains of a window blocking the beautiful sunlight. I see on the side of his face a smeared handprint of my blood when he held me in the car.

I take a step back, realizing that his heart has stopped beating and his lungs have stopped working. I feel a sharp pain where my heart is and I wince, my hand grabbing at my heart like I can somehow rip it out and give it to Kolby so he can have another chance at life.

Realizing that I cant I fall on my butt my eyes never leaving Kolby's bed. I absentmindedly put my two fingers to my head, making a gun. And as I blow my head turns just enough to see my mother staring at me through the doorway.

"Cara,"

I look back at Kolby's dead body. He's no longer breathing. It could have been me. It should have been me.

I gently knock on the door, then realizing that he's in a coma I push it open. The bed is still in the same place it was when Kolby was here. Everything was the same. Like he never died here. Like he was never here. Like they have forgotten him.

I cant do it.

"I'm sorry Sammy." I whisper and close the door as tears flood out of my eyes and then I'm running.

"Hey! Ma'am!" The desk lady calls after me but I don't stop running. My legs are machines that cannot be stopped. I don't want to stop and part of me wishes that right now, as I run across the street, a car will come my way and take away the pain.

I get into my car and now I know where I have to go. I have to see my dad. I have to tell him what's been going on and that my suicidal thoughts are coming back. I press so hard on the gas pedal as I speed down a back road to get to the jail house. I hope something hits me. Please god let something hit me.

I'm not getting better. I'm not.

I wish I was dead.

I wish I was dead instead of Kolby.

I wish Kolby was alive.