Male Quirks and Female Foibles

To a Woman, a Thinking Man's Logic Doesn't Feel Right

Personality tests are used to help us understand ourselves and others, and I believe they are generally useful. In fact, I am certified to administer the MBTI, a personality inventory, and I give it to every couple whose wedding Wayne is asked to perform.

Only one section of the MBTI is related to gender, and that section identifies the way one makes decisions. According to the test, the majority of the men make decisions based on logic and, thus, are called 'thinkers.' Women, on the other hand, tend to make choices based on relationships and values and, hence, are dubbed 'feelers.'

True to form, Wayne is a thinker and I am a feeler. He insists that he thought I was the only person in the world who made decisions based on "illogical" criteria like feelings before we took the MBTI.

In looking at men, however, I am perplexed to find that most who are "thinkers" share actions that I would defy anyone to explain as logical. Perhaps you will recognize your thinker in the following examples.

¨ What is logical about driving completely around the circumference of Dallas on the circular by-pass and adding over an hour to your trip because you're certain you can find the correct exit, when all you have to do is pull into a gas station and ask directions?

¨ Can you find any logic in wearing jeans that are at least an inch too small in the waist so that they push all that ugly fat up and over your belt because you refuse to admit you've gained pounds as you reach middle age?

¨ I see nothing logical in taking three or four hours to put together your son's Christmas present when you could have accomplished the same feat in 30 minutes had you used the instruction manual.

¨ How about a guy who bathes with a three or four day old ring in the tub waiting for his absent wife to come home and clean it? Doesn't he even notice that the water is murky before he gets in?

¨ Then there's the guy who will drive thirty miles to a town he had no plans to visit just to save two cents on a gallon of gas. After he puts 15 gallons in, he has saved thirty cents, but he burned more than thirty cents worth of gas to get there. Of course, he will find some place to shop while he's there just to justify his trip, and spend another $10 to $20 he wouldn't have spent had he paid two cents more per gallon and bought gas just down the road.

¨ I almost forgot to explain a thinker's systematic and logical (?!) painting style. First he gets someone else – usually the female who pleaded with him to paint in the first place – to tape windows, door frames, etc. where paint should not be left. I admit, this is logical for him, since he is relieved of the tedious time consuming work, and he can sit back and drink a coke while dispensing unwanted advice and pointing out spots that have been missed. When he then begins to paint, he paints a spot no bigger than three square feet and stands back to see how it is going to look. Not certain that the same paint and the same size spot will look the same on another wall, he proceeds to do the same for each wall before returning to the original wall. Eventually the whole room will be painted, but only a patch at a time.

¨ Perhaps the one action that takes the cake is refusing a son's collect call when he is staying at a motel in Nashville while he's in sales school. The justification? He has his son's room number and can call him right back and save ten cents a minute on the call. It never occurs to him that his son might be at a pay phone between meetings and not in his room at all. So, after spending thirty minutes trying to get through to a busy switch board, he gets no answer in his son's room. Thus, he pays to talk to a switch board operator, listen to a phone ring, and then leave a message for his son: "Call me collect when you get back to your room."