#IBELIEVE book of rants

professor bae

let me tell you guys a secret that i can no longer contain...i have a huge crush on one of my professors at the university. you might think 'clary, you have a crush on like 100% of the male population'. though that is about right, let me just tell you about the most recent crush. it all started on the magical, yet dreaded, first day of classes. by 'first', i actually mean 'second', but it was the first time i was going to my tuesday/thursday classes.

i was a senior at the university (still am, considering this crush developed like a month ago), and i was nervous as any first day student would feel. every semester is stomach churning, especially because this semester i was forced to take three subjects i hate with a passion (math, english, and philosophy) if i want to graduate. i was looking forward to my shift at the library later that day because i had just been promoted, and thus = more moolah $$, less work.

but anyway.

monday was a normal day. but then tuesday i had to get up at five thirty in the morning to get to an EIGHT AM CLASS. 

so whatever, i got there and when i walked into class, he was already there setting up for the first day with his black trenchcoat, hair gelled back, beautiful blue eyes, and tight jeans. i almost had a heart attack right then and there. he was at the computer podium, looking at god knows what. i stood there at the doorway in a fucking daze wondering why god has decided to punish me/bless my life with this hunk of a man. the classroom was empty beside me and him. 

when he didn't hear the door shut, he kinda just tore his eyes from the computer and looked towards me with a friendly smile. "you're my first student." he said.

i only nodded like a complete dumbass.

and so he waved at me, saying "its a good philosophical morning we're having today, isn't it?"

"mhm." i only agreed because he was hot bc i had no fucking idea what he meant by a good philosophical morning. 

i went to find a seat, which was not hard to do considering i was the only one in the room. and i got my blue notebook out, just for the excuse of having something to do. otherwise i would have continued staring. i also paused to thank god that i had worn my newest clothing on this day because the previous day i had gone in my pajamas. 

eventually like three more girls walked in and that was it. only four girls in the class. 

so he introduced himself. for the sake of this story lets call him professor bae. i was quite mind blown when he told us that he had been born and raised into a hispanic family who was strictly religious. i would have never guessed considering he had blue eyes and was very fair skinned. looks like a white man.

then he proceeded to start off with the first lesson.

as he walked to the podium, he stopped when he saw my backpack. "is that a chivas backpack i see?" he asked me, looking from me to the backpack.

i nodded silently bc of course, my mind was blank.

then he said, "my brother in law loves them."

"me too." i said stupidly, and instantly regretted it. like what the fuck clary? of course you like them if your backpack has the logo on it. and its huge, so no one can miss it.

he just smiled and added the question, "is it true that they only hire players who were born in guadalajara?"

"they only field mexican players." i corrected him.

"ah. mexican players." he said and then went on to explain the lesson we would start off with. 

and guys. i FELL IN LOVE. 

based off another story he told us in class, i would guess that he's in his early to mid thirties. but guys. he is fine as hell. and he ALWAYS PICKS ON ME WHEN WE HAVE CLASS DISCUSSIONS. what i mean by that is that he always asks me what I THINK when we are going to talk as a class, ALWAYS begins the conversation with me. 

im not saying he returns the feeling bc that's just weird. what i mean is that he probably knows i have a huge crush on him so he picks on me constantly. 

and one time i asked him, "why do you always pick me? im not ready today!" 

and he kind of just grinned and said, "the conversation ALWAYS has to start with you. you're our beginning, the one who must answer all questions first." and i got so fucking red in the face i couldn't fucking even.

i think he knows.

its probably obvious. the three other girls in the class always avoid eye contact so they wont be called on, but i never do because he is THAT FINE.

im gonna post a picture of him above so you can see how beautiful he is. 

but im going to take it down in a few hours because pictures that are posted on here can be found through google images sometimes and i dont want him to know that i openly confessed my love for him on here. that would be so embarrassing and i would never be able to look him in the eyes again. i found only ONE picture of him on google images and its the one im showing you all.

thank you all for reading my dumb little posts.

yes, i like older men way more than i should.

no shame.

-clary xx