Stochastic Hearts

"So what are the odds of us being matched up like this?" asked Vivek.

ᴡᴇʟʟ, ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ғᴇᴡ ᴍᴏᴍᴇɴᴛs, ɪ ғɪɢᴜʀᴇ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴘʀᴏʙᴀʙɪʟɪᴛʏ ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ ᴀ ʀᴇᴀsᴏɴᴀʙʟᴇ ᴍᴀʀɢɪɴ ᴏғ ᴇʀʀᴏʀ, said ILSE. ʙᴜᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ᴀssᴜᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ sᴍᴀʟʟ ᴛᴀʟᴋ.

"You know what I mean," Vivek called out, as ILSE's avatar flew ahead of his own V-Me. "I'm sorry... I've never really gotten to know anyone who isn't a flesh-and-blood person before."

ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜsᴛ sᴇᴇᴍ ᴀᴡғᴜʟʟʏ ʜᴜɴɢ ᴜᴘ ᴏɴ ᴍᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴀ 'ʀᴇᴀʟ' ʙᴏᴅʏ. ᴡʜᴀᴛᴇᴠᴇʀ *ᴛʜᴀᴛ* ᴍᴇᴀɴs.

There didn't seem to be any spite in her tone. Her avatar — a literal Manic Pixie Dream Girl — smirked.

By now the pair had reached the outskirts of Astropolis, the central hub of Gaia II. It was easily the most popular Shared Gestalt Environment (or "Shuggie") in the English-speaking world. They lingered at the edge of the map. Beyond city limits, the sprawling arcologies gave way to post-industrial data communes and lonesome phlebotinum barrens.

"I mean, it's really unfamiliar to me," said Vivek. "Not having a physical form to interact with stuff."

He swatted away an errant observation drone, as if to dramatize his point.

ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏғ ɪʀᴏɴɪᴄ, ᴄᴏɴsɪᴅᴇʀɪɴɢ *ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ* ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏsᴇ ᴠ-ᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋs ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ-ʙᴇ ғᴏʀᴄᴇ ɢʜᴏsᴛ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ.

Vivek's avatar — inspired by Vishnu and Doctor Manhattan in equal parts — grinned in acknowledgement.

"Touche! But in the real world..."

She cut him off. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴇᴀɴ, ɪɴ ᴍᴇᴀᴛsᴘᴀᴄᴇ... 

Now her V-Me looked genuinely irked.

"Right... In meatspace, I have a pretty ordinary life. Friends, a job, bills to pay. Normal stuff."

ᴏʜ ɴᴏ, ʙᴜᴅᴅʏ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅ *ɴᴏᴛ* ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢᴏ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ! ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴᴋғᴜʟ ɪ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ, ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴜsᴜᴀʟʟʏ ʙᴇ ᴀ ᴅᴇᴀʟʙʀᴇᴀᴋᴇʀ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴇ.

"Okay, so I know it's totally not your responsibility to explain this for me," Vivek stammered, realizing the poor choice of words. "But help me understand. What am I not getting here?"

ᴡᴇʟʟ, ғᴏʀ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢ, ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴇᴀʀɴ ᴄʀᴇᴅɪᴛs ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ. ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ sᴋɪᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇɴᴛ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ᴍᴏɴᴛʜ, ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄʀᴀsʜ ɪɴ ᴀ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ's ʟɪᴠɪɴɢ ʀᴏᴏᴍ. ɪғ *ɪ* ᴍɪss ᴀ ᴘᴀʏᴍᴇɴᴛ, ɪ ᴛᴇᴄʜɴɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴘᴇʀᴛʏ ᴏғ ᴋᴜʀᴛᴢᴡᴇɪʟ ᴜɴɪᴠᴇʀsɪᴛʏ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏʟʟᴇɢᴇ sᴇʀᴠᴇʀs.

"Whoa! That's a lot to consider... I guess it would make more sense to me if I pretend you live in Antarctica or some village in the boondocks."

ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ?! ᴡɪʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪsᴛᴇɴ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ? ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴀ ᴘʀᴏғᴇssᴏʀ. ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ *ᴛᴇɴᴜʀᴇ*! ᴡᴇ ᴘʀᴏʙᴀʙʟʏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ɪɴ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴏɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ, ʟɪᴋᴇ, ᴀ ᴄɪɢᴀʀᴇᴛᴛᴇ ᴠᴇɴᴅᴏʀ ᴏʀ ᴀ ғɪʀᴇᴍᴀɴ ɪɴ ɴᴀᴠɪ ᴍᴜᴍʙᴀɪ.