Fixing History

Chp.4 - Hopelessness

I sat there helplessly in the corner as the old man slowly slipped away from this life. Arthur had put a brave face on for his father, but I knew he felt just as helpless as I did. And scared, scared beyond anyone's understanding. The King was dying. The Prince will be King. It's a natual life cycle. Father dies so the son takes his place. But Arthur was different in a small way. He was very much alone. He was an orphan now, with no family other than his deranged half sister Morgana who would do anything to blown him off the throne. And what's more, I was the one that had to stop it, I was as much been thrown into the deep end as Arthur.

I saw the King take his last breath, his chest raise and slowly fall for the last time. Arthur sat there transfixed, as if in a state of shock. I walked over to his side and placed my hand on his shoulder. My chest ache with the pain I held for my new friend. He stood up and hugged me, like he was clutching my soul, willing it not to leave him, like his father's just did. I couldn't begin to think the abandonment this man felt. I pulled him out of the room, not wanting to be in there anymore, the chill was terrifying, especially that that surrounded a dead man. I slowly but surely brought him down to Gaius and Merlin, one of the warmer parts of the castle, because it was stationed near the kitchens. I knocked once and Gaius came rushing to the door as if he was waiting for us. Merlin was sitting at the table. I sat Arthur down while Merlin fetched him something strong to drink. Merlin remained quiet for once in his life. I quickly left the room for my own and grabbed the book, flicking through it, desperate for insperation to what I can do for him. I read it and then I saw.

I had to be reasonablelh harsh with him! How could you be harsh with a person going through that kind of mental torment!? But I had to. I pulled out my pencil and hurriedly scribbled the last few words in of the current chapter. The Dragon had mentioned that I may have to donthings that went against my better judgement, but a part of me was telling me that this Dragon was a but of a vigilante and was doing this in the name of magic, but to the extreme sense. Like Al Kinida. Merlin seems like a sensible enough person to talk to if I need a second opinion.

I got a great pang of pain in my heart, like someone had just stabbed me. My dad was always the sensible person in whom I turned to for advise. And now I was out on my own in a strange land, in a strange time at only nineteen. How too soon this moment had come for me. When people say they're taking a gap year before college, going back in time to save history doesn't nessisarily come to mind does. I bet my bother would be well jealous!

I hadn't noticed but I was lightly shocked to find fat drops of liquid fall onto the page before me. Inwas crying, for my family. It's amazing how death can bring such thoughts to come. I stood up and dried my tears before returned back to the boys. Merlin was sitting across from Arthur and silent while Gauis was preparing something, probably a sleeping draft. I went over and stopped his work. And gestured for him to sit down. However wrong and brutal Uther was Gauis was his closet friend and most loyal servant. I'm sure his death has effected him.

I tidied up his things and put away the burner. I then grabbed lavender sprigs, primroses and vanilla of the shelf. I placed them into the mortar and pesel and began to gently squash them. Then I placed them in a heshen bag that I had soaking in a little lavender oil. Tying the bag back back up I went over to Arthur and took his hand. He obliged silently in following, nodded to Merlin and Gaius as we left. I had to comend the man on the bravery and courage he had shown so far in light of his fathers death. I simply couldn't see how anyone could be able to hold such, shocked as it may be, composer. It was inspirering to say the least.

I opened the door to his room and brought him over to the bed I palced the poltis under his pillow and took 8some lavender oil from my pocket, dabbing a little on my fingers I rubbed some under his nose, over his eyelids and his forehead. Hopefully he would get some rest tonight. Maybe I help him through this and ban this fear of hopelessness that had taken over me since I saw the life leave the old man's body!

As I dropped my hands from Arthur's beautiful face he caught them before the reached my sides. Holding my wrists he pulled me into a warm hug, enveloping me in his muscle and strength. Makin me feel the safest I've in months. I felt my tears welm up again as they fell silently onto his shirt. He kissed my hair and said soothing words. Exactly what I should be doing for him right now.

"Thank you, I know this has sparked something from and that your missing home, wherever that is. I'm sorry, but thank you. You've been most helpful tonight. I don't know if I can see my life without you in in Amhrán. I know we've really just only met but I'm falling in, in, lo-, love with you and I can't stop this free fall I've entered. Please stay with me tonight?", there was a tone of desperation in his plead and one that I most certainly could obey.

And so I did, I stayed the night. We cuddled in bed and basked in each others warmt and comfort from te other just simply being there. It was lovely and I knew that if we had each other we could get through anything. No doubt. But the book was becoming a looming figure of my dreams which were becoming nightmares.

And I didn't know what to believe anymore. Arthur's a good man, but isn't ready to be faced with the knowledge of my mission just yet. But Merlin is another story altogether! Should I? Or shan't I?