My Choice

Chapter 7

Haruhi stood in the center of her room; the candlelight cast shadows over her nervous and unsure face. She played with the end of her t-shirt, suddenly embarrassed by her choice of outfit. She felt so exposed to the raking eyes of Hikaru. Her fingers tugged the fabric, pulling it down to cover her plain underwear. Why couldn't she wear one of the sexy pairs she had gotten at the mall, or even put on the negligee? Why had she chosen the simple slightly oversized graphic tee and pink cotton underwear with guitars on it? Why?!

Hikaru's eyes took on a predatorily glow to them as they crawled over Haruhi's fidgeting form. She really was a sight to see. The t-shirt hung off her shoulder, showing off the thin strap of a pink bra and the creamy, smooth skin of her collarbone and shoulder. Even though she nervously pulled the bottom down to hide her adorable underwear, Hikaru's eyes took in the beautiful sight of her thin legs. His eyes crawled back up her body, resting on the adorable blush that painted her porcelain cheeks.

Stepping forwards, Hikaru's hand came to rest on her warm cheek, trying to calm her nerves and his own. He would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous about this. Fooling around was one thing, but the actual act of gaining the ultimate pleasure was another. It meant completely letting his guards down- the ones he had built up with strong stone with his brother- and let the one person he has come to truly love see his vulnerability. It scared him, but also calmed him. It made him feel almost… serene that he was about to show Haruhi his vulnerability, finally let down all the stone walls. For so long he and Kaoru had forced people away, not allowing anyone into their world, but Haruhi came along… and not only made her way into their world… but Hikaru's heart. Now, in Haruhi's room in the dim light of candles, he was going to show her just how much he loved her… just how much he wanted her in his life forever.

Haruhi was fidgeting so much. Hikaru was just standing there, gently stroking her cheek, staring at her. It unnerved her, caused her to doubt what they were about to do, made her all the more nervous and embarrassed. Was it too late to back out? After all, they were only teens, kids… She always said she wanted to wait until she was in love and married. Could she wait a few more years to have sex with Hikaru? They had done so much already, but the act of sex terrified her. Not because of the supposed pain girls would feel or the vulnerability that would be exposed to Hikaru… but the dread that Hikaru wouldn't enjoy it- enjoy her. She feared she wouldn't have that natural talent to please Hikaru. She had a natural talent for almost everything, but what if…? It scared her that she may not be able to please him with her body, and if she couldn't… he would leave her. Right?

"Haruhi-"

"Hikaru-"

They both spoke at the same time, momentarily staring into each other's eyes until Hikaru spoke, "Go ahead." His voice was soft, but thick with anticipation. He leaned down, his lips brushing over her ear, down her jaw, along her neck.

"Hika… Maybe…" Haruhi sighed softly, loving the gentle kisses Hikaru was placing upon her skin. The feel of his lips was like heroine- after their first kiss back in the church on that fatefully stormy day she was hooked, and knew she'll never get enough of them. She struggled to find the words, to form them in her head. Did she really want to stop? Did she really want to put it off for a while longer?

"What is it, Fragola?" His lips ghosted over the sensitive skin behind her ear before his tongue gently toyed with the skin.

Haruhi moaned softly, and then shook her head. Pulling away, she whispered softly, "Wait, Hika…"

Hikaru looked down at the girl before him, seeing the way she backed away and looked down. He could see the hesitant, nervous look in her eyes since the moment he stood up from the bed. He had wanted to sooth her, knowing she liked the way he would aimlessly place gentle kisses along her neck. "What is it, Haruhi?"

Haruhi hesitated. Would she anger him by asking him to stop, by wanting to know if they could put it off for a while longer? "I…" Her big brown eyes- the eyes he had first fallen in love with- looked up at him. "Can we… I just…"

Honey eyes took in the nervous, unsure sight of his love, and knew she wasn't ready for this. He smiled gently, placing a kiss on her cute lips. "We don't have to, Haru. We can just lay in bed and cuddle, okay?"

Haruhi's eyes widened, surprised by the way he was acting. "You're not mad?"

"Of course not." Hikaru pulled her to him, gently holding her head against his chest, "I would never be mad at you for something like this. If you're not ready, you're not ready. To be honest I'm pretty unsure myself. We can take things slow; we don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable."

"Thank you, Hika." Haruhi pressed her face in his chest, tightened her arms around his waist. "I love you…"

"I love you too, Haru, and that's why I'm willing to wait and understand. I'm not like those other guys in the world who just want sex. I'm not going to lie and say it isn't on my mind, but I would never push you into anything you don't want to do." Hikaru held her tightly, loving the way her body fit perfectly with his.

Maybe they wouldn't commit the ultimate act of love this night, but Hikaru wasn't worried. He loved Haruhi, no matter what. He would wait for when she was absolute ready, little to no doubt in her mind. After all, didn't they say waiting only made it that much more exciting and pleasurable in the end?

He could- would wait. His walls of stone may still be up, but they were crumbling each and every day; Allowing Haruhi- his love- to be that much closer to him, to be able to see him for who he truly is. He couldn't keep the stone walls up for longer, it was too tiring. If he wasn't going to crush them himself on this night, then he would allow them to slowly crumble by Haruhi's hands.