Cooking was never your strong point Laa-Laa. Indeed I never knew you could burn water while cutting a baguette, but I guess that's just how you roll. I have to give you some credit in this instance, because you never gave up. Laa-Laa, you taught me that no matter how terrible you are at a craft, you can still get worse. You always believed that someday you would create something that was actually edible.
Unfortunately it was my kitchen that suffered the wrath of your clumsy cooking skills. I'll never forget the day you tried to pour your first bowl of cereal. Po and I happened to be on the scene during this event. With a somewhat unsteady hand Laa-Laa, you took the low-fat milk out of the fridge,(I was doing you a favour) and placed it on the countertop. You were so proud of yourself Laa-Laa. You had finally learned not to substitute cooking oil for milk. However, this victory was short-lived, because you had to take the extra step and actually pour it in the bowl.
After taking a deep breath, you knew it was time. The room was eerily silent as you unscrewed the milk carton's cap and cast it in Po's direction. Despite his conscious attempts of standing as far away as possible from you Laa-Laa, it still managed to hit the obese strawberry jellybean in the eye. Poor Po should've taken a class in defence against the culinary arts. The accuracy of your aim is remarkable, I'll give you that. Of course Po was on the floor again, but that's nothing new. Today's topic of Po's mutterings was something along the lines of 'Low-fat Laa-Laa', but I wasn't really paying attention. I was too focused on what you were doing to give Po's antics an ounce of my attention.
Despite the chaos that was descending upon the room you kept going. You held the carton over the bowl, your hand shaking violently. The room once again collapsed into silence as a stream of calcium and vitamin D began to descend into the bowl. You were doing it! You were pouring milk into the bowl! Once you were finished, you chucked the empty bottle at Po (who was still on the floor by the way) and proceeded to reach for the cereal in my cupboard.
That's where everything went downhill. You forgot to pick up cereal Laa-Laa. You went ballistic, throwing everything out of the cupboards, believing that you could find something behind them. For goodness sake Laa-Laa, you and I both knew there was nothing to be found there; this isn't the freaking wardrobe in Narnia!
I tried to calm you down, insisting that I probably had some bran flakes lying around somewhere. You certainly weren't having it Laa-Laa. Indeed you began shouting that only peasants like Po feasted on bran flakes. You took every last thing I had in the fridge and proceeded to throw it at the wall. Then, you took the bowl of milk you had earlier poured and threw it on the floor, signifying the end of this outburst.
I stared in utter disbelief as I look at the catastrophe that was my kitchen. The wall was plastered with the contents of my fridge, and I stared in utter disbelief as I watched two egg yolks fight their way to the floor in a trickle of slime. By this point Laa-Laa, you were curled up on the floor, muttering something to yourself. It was quite funny actually, as Po was still doing this too but at the opposite side of the room. You evidently hadn't lost all hope Laa-Laa, as you looked up at me from the floor and asked if I had any eggs to crack into a bowl. I can recall shaking my head sadly as I pointed to the wall that had taken the two egg yolks hostage.
It was quite ironic really that you were looking for an egg at that point. This is because if you looked at the crime scene from above, you would see something remarkable: A pool of milk with a yellow object lying in the middle. Does that remind you of anything?
(Let's not forget the tiny red blob you would see in the far corner of the room.)
