I have never dreamt my life would be so obscure and difficult. I would've never understood why someone would walk around with a fake smile. A smile that is so mysterious and concealed. Where there is nothing put pain. The kind of pain that is not understandable to others but to the person. When you try to explain, it's so killing to express. I only understood it when I walk around in it. It felt so unreal and burdensome. It was like a heavy load on my shoulders. As I spread it out it scooped out my insides and threw it on the ground for show. Like this is the real Allanah, not that smile.
Those nights I would cry myself to sleep. The darkness of the room seemed too intense and it was grabbing at my soul as I tried to cage it safe and sound in my heart but, my heart had so much to hold, it was ripping apart releasing, letting go little by little of anything I ever had. I stopped crying once my head throbbed and my eyes were bruised red and I knew there was nothing else left of me. Then once everyone was quiet and only the crickets played in the dark, I looked out the window and stared in agony at the star-filled sky and prayed. Until I realized I wasn't praying for anything at all. And there was nothing there.
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Story behind the cuts
Roman pour AdolescentsOnce all the people left and the lights were off, I cried or in other words we cried. My bad luck and I. We cried till morning when my eyes and her became weak and we disappeared. We disappeared into deep, deep rest. The type of rest that is scorchi...
