Hate At First (Grown Ups/Greg Feder)

Water Is Water ✅

Dylan POV

We were now all at a restaurant. I was sitting next to Rob and dad. It was kind of nice to sit around and just talk and laugh. My dad and I usually just order a pizza to our house and eat silently in the living room.

"Hey Lenny, remember when we used to come here in high school late night after we got wasted?" My dad said.

"What's wasted?" Donna asked.

"Uh, wasted is when you have a hankering for ice cream." Mr. Feder said.

Nice save Mr. Feder, nice save.

All the kids were saying they wanted to get wasted.

"Do you want to get wasted Dylan?" Becky asked.

Unlike most of the kids here, I actually know what wasted means, considering my dad got wasted every once in awhile. So no, I don't want to get wasted.

"Uh, no. I don't really like...ice cream."
Technically, I wasn't lying. I don't like ice cream.

"Alright everybody. Let me make this easy. Eighteen burgers and eighteen fries. And that will be just for me. What are you guys having?" Mr. Lamonsoff joked.

We all laughed.

"Hey do me a favor, that's for everybody and just put it on this." He said taking out a card.

Everyone said he didn't have too and then Mrs. McKenzie's mama, was naming other food she wanted.

Then people cracked some jokes. It was funny.

"How about some drinks?" Asked the waitress.

"Hey I said take it easy." Mr. Lamonsoff joked again, "I'm kidding everybody. I'm kidding. We can drink all we want. I'll start it off, I'm gonna want a coke and I know Donna's gonna want a sprite. And Bean, Bean's good with milk. Obviously."

"I want cookies!"

"Oh. Cookies and milf." My dad said.

"Cookies and milf, awe Higgins, thank you so much."

"And I'll take a flat water. Voss." Greg said.

Here it comes.

"What?"

"You know, Voss. Or Fiji if you don't have Voss."

Come on. It's just water.

"You know what. Anything you got is good." His dad said.

"Out of the faucet." The waitress said.

"Like from a hose?" Greg asked disgusted.

"You know Greg, water from a hose isn't bad. Or from a faucet. It's actually really good. In fact I dare you to try it." I said to him.

I knew he would take it and I knew it was the only way to shut him up about the water. He seemed like the type of boy who liked dares.

"Fine. Give me the faucet water." He said, looked at me with his mouth slightly opened, almost in awe.

Mr. Feder looked to me and mouthed a thank you. And I nodded back.

******

Most of us kids were playing in the arcade now. I heard them say that the Feder Family is leaving. That might actually be for the best. They're going to Milan. Where apparently their is boobies on TV.

Greg's words, not mine.

*******

I came down the next morning to Mr. Feder hitting Rob with this scab looking thing.

I sat down and tried a bit of the ocean pancake.

I didn't want to be rude, so I sorrowfully swallowed it.

I saw Mrs. Feder do it too.

"Higgins! What are you doing?"

I turned and saw my dad's bare butt.

Sadly, I see this on a daily basis. It's nothing new.

"I don't wear pants at my house. I'm not gonna wear them here."

"Sad, but true." I told them. They all laughed.

******

I was outside in the lake. The water was cool and it felt good against my hot skin.

"What are you doing?"

Startled, I turned and I saw Greg. I couldn't help but burst out laughing. He had the most ridiculous outfit on.

"I'll tell you what I'm doing, if you tell me what you're wearing."

"We were suppose to go to Milan. That's what I packed for."

"Ah. Okay. I'm just a little hot, so I got in the lake to cool down. Can I do something for you real quick?"

I was hesitant to ask, but I really wanted to help him look less like a fool.

"I guess."

I took his hand and dragged him along, "Okay, come on."

I run into the kitchen and looked for a pair of scissors. Once I found them I turned around and cut off one of his sleeves.

"Hey! What are you doing?"

"I'm helping you. Now please calm down and stand still." I said pointing my scissors at him.

I cut his other sleeve off and turned his pants into shorts. I took off his hat and threw it across the room, along with his bracelet thing.

"There. Now you look normal." I told him. He doesn't look half bad, it's just his sometimes bad attitude that turns my skin the wrong way.

Mr. Feder came in a few seconds later.
"How did you do that? I just said to do that ten minutes ago and he didn't listen."

"I told him to calm down and stand still," I said shrugging, "I also may have had a pair of scissors in his face."