This love

In the rain

The rest of the day was a blur. We spend the whole time on a couch silent as we watched some movie I honestly did not care about. He didn't say a word just constantly glancing at me and hoping I wouldn't notice. There was so many questions I wanted to ask but I felt that it was all too soon. I should just let him come to me. I turn to face him and move closer to him. "I can't help but to ask what happened, even though I probably have no right to." He stared at me and shook his head while running his hand down his face. He didn't wanna talk about it. I could tell by all the ways he was trying to get out of the conversation. After a minute of him not saying anything I got up and made my way up to get my stuff. I'm expecting too much and I should just go before things get more complicated. I mean I've known him for this long so none of which is happening should affect me like it is. Somehow it does but he doesn't wanna open up so I'm going to leave before I humiliate myself. I grab my purse and slowly walked downstairs. He was still in the same spot I left him. He looked up and then looked at my bag in my hand. "Why are you leaving now, did I do something " He says as he walk towards me. "No, you didn't do anything. I just feel like you could have at least explained some of what happened today but you didn't so I'm leaving." For a while he just looked at me and then he walked until he was close enough for me to smell him and took my bag out of my hand. "There is nothing I would hate more than to watch you walk out that door without us even beginning this. I don't know exactly what this is but you deserve an explanation and I'll give it to you. Just don't go." He was waiting for a response and I thought about it for a second.
"Okay, I'll stay"

2 hours later

It's pouring outside and for some reason we were back to the same spot on the couch and he was falling asleep. I rubbed his head because what could I do, complain about the fact that he can't seem to find the words earlier to explain as to why he won't just let me in and why an ex girlfriend who isn't bad looking come show up at the door. I should probably leave. I gently get up and make my way to the kitchen. There is a door that leads to the backyard and since listening to the sound of rain is all I wanna do then I walk out and stand on the patio.Maybe we not cut out for this. she is bound to show up here again. I walk further into the rain and now I can feel it falling down my face. I hear the door to the back close and i know that he is awake and most likely standing behind me. "what if I hurt you" I hear him say softly almost a whisper. I turn and look at him. What if he does I think to myself, then what am suppose to do. I find myself walking up to him and he just stares at me. "If you do, you better work damn hard to fix what you hurt".