[Sherlolly fanfiction] Silhouettes

Chapter 28-- The Last Light

(MOLLY'S POV)

He's gone.
When I woke up, he wasn't there.
This only meant one thing. The only one thing it could mean.

I get in a taxi back to London. I don't know where he is. I don't know if he'll be there, but it's the only place I can go.

I almost feel as if I'm watching myself from a distance; my mind isn't inside my head anymore, it's floating above me.

I sit silently in the back, unmoving.

I feel absent.

I don't feel real.

I feel like a shadow.

I feel hollow.

I can't focus.

I only have the energy to see some things and recognise some of my feelings. I only have the energy to notice the details, but never the full picture.

The taxi pulls over at Baker Street.
I get out, my legs weak underneath me as I collect my bag and stand in front of the door. I don't have a key on me.
My hands are cold and raw. Yellow and red patches on my palms make my skin into a beige and rose map. My bottom lip is raw because I've been chewing it so much, but I ignore the stinging; it's nothing compared to the pain of my muscles and throat. I knock on the door and try to compose myself a little.

Mrs Hudson answers. "Oh, back so soon?"
I try to smile and nod. "Afraid so." I whisper, trying to mask my pain.
She watches me. "Where's Sherlock?"
I lower my head so my expression doesn't give me away. "He's coming soon." I walk forwards past her so she won't see my face as tears glaze over my eyes.

I go straight up to the lounge. I know he won't be there, but I hope.

It's empty.

It's silent.

He's not there.

He's nowhere.

I feel my stomach lurch as a sickness spreads through me. An empty, hollow sickness.

My hands tremble as I call John.

I try to speak, but it's too difficult. Instead, I croak desperately. "He's gone."
"Molly, what's happened?"
I chew my tongue, lowering my head.
He listens to my uneven breaths and starts of words before finally speaking. "We're on our way. Where are you?"
"I--I'm....221b."
"Stay there, we're coming over."
"No--please. Find him."
"Molly, we--"
"You're the only person that can find him."
He pauses for a moment. "We're coming over there first and then I'll get him." He speaks, his voice reassuring.

But I can't think straight. I feel ill. I'm scared.
The call ends.

I wait.

I don't feel right anymore.

Everything moves slowly around me.

There's a cold strain on my heart as John and Mary open the door, looking at me. Mrs Hudson approaches behind them, unsure of what's happening. Mary turns, speaking to her, subtly dismissing her.
I look back at them, my eyes sore.

They don't know what's happened.

I can't tell them the full story. They can't know about Hölzern manor, how this baby won't ever get to live. It's a matter of months before October. It's not enough time. Everything is all just badly timed.

All they know is that there's a child.

They can't know about Hölzern manor. They can't know about that.

"He won't answer his phone." I swallow.
Mary and John look at one another before speaking. "I'm going to find him." John reassures as Mary walks forwards, allowing me to sit. She holds my hands, telling me to look at her and to listen to her. I only listen to her voice, not her words. It's too much effort to try to listen to her words. "Will he be alright?" I ask over her.
She nods. "He'll be fine. Don't worry about him."