A Crack-filled Story by Nicole and Meta

Welcome to Hell

A/N: I'm in bold, and Nicole Peach is normal text. We did one of those writing exercises where you say a few words and then the other person continues the story, back and forth. Thus, something really, really dumb was born.

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Experiment with chocolate and pokemon to make chocolate type and kill dragons with fondue and cheese covered mice.

Dragons can't eat cheese because it causes them to explode into glitter which gets fucking everywhere and never leaves other dragon's scales.

And also your hair.

Which is why my hair sparkles like that.

Later, at home I tried to spread my glittery wrath outside on my lawn but the gnomes attacked with laser cats and started killing glitter dogs with rocket launchers in hopes of stopping their missile bird masters.

The glitter turned into zombie chickens and ate the laser cats without any milk.

They were gross.

Next, they went searching for their lost Dimentio who was by Mr. L at the Space Mart scrubbing chocolate wrappers left by Squirps so that they may be recycled into purses for Peach's collection.

Peach likes the way they smell because she likes chocolate but not getting fat and she thinks they smell like chocolate.

Because they were once Squirp's favorite food once.

He's currently in the depths of hell for stealing chocolate from Queen Jaydes because he wanted to.

Queen Jaydes' favorite flavor is chocolate caramel death and peanut brittle, because it reminded her of her and Grambi's first date when they went to Bonechill's cafe of ice and terror.

Why they went there is a mystery.

Probably because the pie is delicious.

The filling is the blood of the innocent.

And the secret is that and sugar.

Queen Jaydes first went without knowing of the blood but still continued to eat the pies anyways.

Grambi reminisced about eating people pies and about his daughter who was turned into a people pie.

So they made a new daughter out of Pure Hearts.

She died too.

So they cried. Oops.

But she didn't die it was a joke and so they grounded her even though it wasn't her fault, it was Dimentio's but they couldn't kill him because he refused to stay dead so they forced him to clean the bathroom forever and ever.

Instead of doing that, he tried to kill Jaydes. By clogging the sink with poisonous piles of ivy.

The bathroom flooded and Jaydes learned of the assassination attempt, but blamed Bonechill instead so she closed down his restaurant and sent him to the land of musical kazoos.

And bagpipes, don't forget those.

No of course and bagpipes.

The bagpipes came from O'Chunks's closet of instruments he can't play which also included oboes and trombones! And a single contra-bass flute that should not be that big it was also snapped in half for obvious reasons.

Dimentio probably destroyed the closet when he had too much butterbeer! When he gets drunk he likes to destroy and kill things. And also to wear ballerina tutus.

He was drunk now, in fact. Mr. L was forced into a strip club to be a male stripper.

He was really horrible at it so he tried to eat a sandwich with cheese and mustard but accidentally made a death ray for Fawful.

Fawful then went to Dimentio and zapped his pancakes angering the jester who waited until Christmas and destroyed all of Fawful's presents. And filled his stocking with coal and took the candy canes for himself.

Fawful, when he found out what happened, stole Dimentio's hat and put wings in his coffee so it flew into his face and burned away the mask.

Then Fawful died.

Only because he saw under Dimentio's mask.

Especially because he saw under Dimentio's mask.

Pretty much the only reason why though.

But Fawful told everyone in the Underwhere and so the Underwhere knew the secret.

And then Dimentio went to the Underwhere to murder all the Shaydes.

Queen Jaydes was all like mad for the murder of her Shaydes. And she tried to zap him but he was too teleporty to hit.

So Dimentio destroyed her and took over the Underwhere. But then the balance of life and death was out of wack, because he refused to do any paperwork.

So everybody except him died.

He died too though.

Then the Big Bang happened and the universe remade itself.

And then there was Super Paper Mario and the Void almost made the world go poof except it was fictional this time so nobody actually died.

Except for Dimentio in a rather painful fashion because snapping your fingers snapped them in two and he couldn't stop multiplying and the divisions caused him to explode.

Thus the universe died again. The End