Desire

Chapter 1

Hey guys! So this is my first story, and I've only written the first chapter. I wanted feedback on your thoughts on whether I should continue or not. If I'm satisfied with how far the first chapter gets then I'll post the second one in a jiffy.

Enjoy <3

Hope you like it!

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Yes, this is a Romance. I know it's kind of hard to tell but please, as you keep reading you'll see (: so don't judge it too quickly.

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Chapter 1

The unfinished piece of drawing I sketched in my sketch pad was of the city. A sketch I’ve been working on for 2 days now, in which I thought resembled, me. It was ironic, really. Thinking of the city, you imagine people always being around you, never being alone. That was something completely different in my case. Though it wasn’t complete isolation from the world, it’s kind of felt like it. After the death of both my parents, I felt like no one could understand me. I felt alone, and that wasn’t just emotionally. Sharing my story, I’d get the same responses from everyone. No matter what people said to me, it was never enough. Never enough to see what point there was in living anymore. It felt like a misery that I’d always be stuck with, being that contentment didn’t seem to be my friend. Nonetheless, there was still one person.

Veronica.

She had me move in with her, something I immediately agreed to do. Living alone at my old home, where my parents had been would never help me rid grief. Not that living here took it all away, but it was much better than living at my old home. Veronica’s house was a two-bedroom apartment. Often, she’d sleep with me in my room for comfort. And that had still been the case after a year, not that I was complaining.

It was just 7pm; the sky was beginning to get dark, filled with different shades of purples and blues. It was my favorite time to sketch. The feeling being calm, I was just able to concentrate and free my mind. I shut the book, and put it in the drawer next to my bed. The lights had been off, so I turned them on and drew the curtains closed. Veronica had gone out to buy Chinese food, me being completely alone. As much as she tried to get me to go with her, I told her no. Sometimes, being by myself, I felt that I wouldn’t have to bring everyone else down with me with my sappy mood. When I really think about it, when was the last time I really smiled? A real smile, you know? One I didn’t have to plaster on my face to please everyone? Yeah, I can’t remember either.

I stripped off my clothes, tossing them into the hamper. I let loose my long caramel curls from the ponytail they’d been in. Having the bathroom in my room would sometimes contain me from even stepping out of my bedroom; but I was happy that was stage I had left behind.

Every time I showered, I felt such shame to even look at my body. Looking at it reminded me of some kind of record book, with every piece of history that only I knew of.

And it hurt.

Physical and emotional pain. If only I could wash it all away. There was only so much I could hide, and I worried I’d go too far. Stepping out of the shower, I wrapped the towel around my body carefully.

Why was I so weak?

“Lacey!” Veronica startled me, making me jump a little.

“Ronny!” I grumbled when I’d dropped the facial scrub and the hairbrush on my foot.

Ugh.

She said a sheepish sorry, and told me she’d come with the food ordering me to hurry up so we could eat.

I hurried as told, as if Veronica was going to walk in on me in the bathroom, something I always terrified she would do. She would see what, I, too, was uncomfortable with.

After I threw on my long, gray pajama pants with plain white T, I opened the door to see Veronica sitting on my bed already stuffing her face with the Chinese food. I chuckled slightly.

“Couldn’t wait?”

Her smile made her cheeks look more stuffed than they’d already been. My food was set on my side of the bed, and I sighed frustrated when I saw the chopsticks. Still baffled me how Veronica and everyone else seemed to be able to grab food with those little things. Making my way to the kitchen, I realized now that it had grew darker out, the night sky clear with just the moonlight shining. That would be such a great, and simple scene to draw, but Veronica would scold me for doing so. I grabbed a fork and skipped back to the room, digging right into my angel hair noodles when I settled on the bed.

The night went on with V and I watching her reality shows that she seemed to be more into than I was. Most of the time, I would just try to retain from grabbing my sketch pad and going straight back to the drawing I’d been doing earlier, which I would’ve done if Veronica hadn’t been back after my shower.

“Danielle and I are going to the movies tomorrow, you should come. You’ve been home since yesterday. Seriously, you haven’t even left the room.” She said, making me chew my noodles slower.

She kind of had a point. Everyone around me had a social life of some sort, while I stayed home and did, well nothing. Honestly, I wasn’t hyped about the idea, but at the same time I needed some fresh air. So I decided that’s what I’d do this for; which I hoped would clear my mind.

“Um, okay.” I told her, causing a wide grin to tug her face.

What would I have done if I didn’t have Veronica? She was like a second mother to me, something she’d told me herself. I didn’t just see her as a best friend; she was so much more beyond that! An amazing person she was, overall. She never gave up on me, even when I was beginning to give up on myself. I was more than thankful to have her by my side to bring me back up again when I was crashing down.

I hoped for change, I really did. I was tired of crying every night before I went to bed. A pain only I felt.

Everyday, I hoped for something new. Trying not to be the pessimistic I was, I tried to see the good in tomorrow as I slowly drifted off to sleep.

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So I realized it's kind of short, I'm so sorry for that. I'll try my best to make the next ones longer, but I'm pretty sure they'll get longer as I go on and get more ideas, they'll get longer.

Become a fan. Chapter 2 will be posted soon.