Nobody thinks what I think, Nobody dreams when they blink Think things on the brink of blasphemy I'm my own shrink Think things are after me, my catastrophe I'm a kitchen sink, You don't know what that means Because a kitchen sink to you Is not a kitchen sink to me, OK friend?
Bucky was broken. Anyone could see that. You didn't have to search to find a war weary soldier stuck inside a shell of a person.
He was constantly a tipping scale. He was unpredictable. He either let every emotion out because he knew he was free, or he bottled it up out of fear of consequence.
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No one else is dealing with your demons Meaning maybe defeating them Could be the beginning of your meaning, friend.
He was fighting, despite everything. You were helping the best you could, helping him through nightmares and flashbacks, making him smile here and there, holding him when he needed it. It was inevitable that you'd fall for him.
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Go away Go away Go away Go away Leave me alone Leave me alone Leave me alone Leave me alone
It's hard to help someone who doesn't want help. Bucky was constantly trying to push you away, not only out of fear of hurting you, but also because he always felt this foreign feeling whenever you came close. His heart would start to race and he would feel weightless. He wasn't sure if he liked this feeling or not.
Go away Go away Go away Go away Leave me alone Leave me alone Leave me alone Leave me alone
Don't leave me alone Don't leave me alone
"No! Get out!" He yelled at you, pushing you away from his shaking figure. You were a bit hurt, but silently nodded and began out the door.
"Wait." He croaked. You turned your head back to face him.
"Don't leave me alone." He begged. His mind flashed back to HYDRA, when he was left in his cell for days on end.
"Don't leave me here!" He pleaded, reaching for the guards as they walked away.
"Don't leave me alone!" His voice rose to a shout. "Don't leave me alone!" The desperation and sadness in his cries fell onto deaf ears, echoing through the cold, empty cells.
"Don't leave me alone." He pleaded again.
"Okay." You whispered, slowly embracing him. He melted into your touch, closing his eyes and letting your warmth comfort him.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Okay but for real: I think of Bucky every single time I hear this song. I get the chills.
I recommend listening to it. There's a point where he's screaming 'don't leave me alone', and that's where I got the whole flashback scene from so yeah.
