Zerrie-You and i

Chapter 24

Songs for this chapter:

BeFour- Zayn

Blue- Troye Sivan

I hate you, i love you- Gnash

Everything will be okay- G-eazy

if you want listen to the songs it will help you understand more, enjoy! x

Zayn Pov

I couldn't feel her, I didn't wake up with her in my arms. I woke up staring in the darkness with the shed of light breaking through the thin curtains. I turn and lay flat on my back and looked to my right. I stare at the space between us, how we did we get here? Her back was facing me and as I was about to touch a gold lock of hers the baby's start crying.

I sigh as I get up, movement from my right catching my attention as always. "Stay, I'll get them" I say as I get up and walk towards the room. My gesture was sweet but my tone was cold and empty. I see Lilly sound asleep and little Andrew waving his arms around. I pick him up and say "Shh baby, daddy's here" Kissing his small forehead. Not for long- our flight was changed to early morning rather than the end of this week.

1 more day with my beloved children. But one more day to try and resolve me and my wife. She couldn't say I love you back. Well what I've done lately- how could anyone possibly love me? She wants to love me - I know that deep down. But if I'm not right, if were not right what can I do?

I feed both kids and take them both down stairs into the living room. In the middle of me tickling Lilly and hearing her adorable laugh, Perrie walks in. She was still only wearing my shirt from last night- yet still looking breathtakingly beautiful. "Good Morning" I say smiling at her as she walks past me. 

"Morning" She simply says sitting by Andrew on the floor, running her hands through her hair. She smiles at Andrew who is playing with his toys on the floor. "Perrie" I say the same time she says "Zayn". "We have less than 24 hours before you go off again" she says still not making eye contact. "We need to fix this" I say focusing on her biting her lip to stop herself from crying.

But I can tell that she had failed when she looks up at me, her eyes are puffy and as more tears stream down her pale face. "How?" Her voice cracks causing my heart to shatter again- too many times recently. "I don't know" I say honestly. "I'm sorry, for it all- for not being here with the kids, kissing Malia, causing this whole mess. Most of all I'm sorry for not being the husband you expected to have- what I needed to be for you".

After my sorry speech she puts her head in her hands and I hear her sniffle, but  I somehow still hope that what I said helped heal her wounds. "I don't know what...I don't know what happened to us" She says, finally causing my strong walls to break and the tears to flow down my face. "I don't know baby" I say, but somehow this causes her had to shoot up and glare at me like she's the lion and I'm the lamb.

"Don't call me baby- your about to fuck another girl because you needed to go out and drink over a small pathetic argument while I was here freaking crying and breaking down while taking care of two kids! Not too mention the fact that your career is flying while mine is slowly fading away. I'm tired of staying in this stupid home and not being able to live my life like your doing, performing, traveling, always with your best mates and not staying at home with two kids. So don't call me your baby or your love- because your not treating me right at all".

By the end of her hurtful and honest  speech she stands up picks up both Andrew and Lilly in her arms. "We have your family and mine coming over for lunch so I'm going to get myself and these two ready" She says while walking out of the room leaving me a speechless, pathetic, broken mess.