Zerrie-You and i

Chapter 26

Songs for this chapter:

Gonna get better- Fifth Harmony

No way- Fifth Harmony

Home- topic ft Nico Santos

Downtown love- G-eazy  ft John Michael Rouchell

Zayn pov

I woke up with a blonde in my arms. Not the blonde I have been use to for the past few years. The blonde I was meant to satisfy for one night to keep my relationship with the other blonde. However I feel satisfied. I don't remember feeling as good as I did last night. Was it because I hadn't had any in a while or because I really enjoy it. Or did I like her?

I shouldn't at all. I shouldn't be able to stand her. But as I tighten my grip on her and she cuddles further into me I feel full. Lately anger and sadness had run in my veins, but now I'm indulged in her touch. Minutes felt like seconds as she lifted herself up to look me in my eyes, I've never seen something so damn beautiful.

"Good morning" She smiles and I smile back at her, "Morning". We just stare at each other, her green eyes were so beautiful and captivating I never wanted to look away. "Uh you hungry?" she asks smiling I nod my head and she gets up. On her way to the kitchen she slips on my shirt to cover her naked body.

I sit up and check my phone, 3 missed calls. One from Louie and two from perrie- shit. I call back Louie as I knew we had uncertain plans today. "Hey Zayn" He says through the line. "Hey what's up?" I ask, "We have a free day but remember show tonight so be here at around 5" he tells me causing me to smile, more time with Malia. Shit what the fuck was I thinking. "Okay thanks mate" I say and end the call.

I get off the comfy bed and put on my boxers before heading out to the balcony and dialling my wife's number. After 4 rings she picks up but all I hear is silence. "Perrie?" I call out feeling the guilt rising up. "You done?" she asks knowing exactly what she is referring to. I decide whether to lie and say I left straight after- but our marriage was already on thin ice.

"Yeah last night, I'm still here now" I say and she lets out a shaky breath which causes the guilt to hit me. "Zayn...why?" she asks and I can just imagine the tears flowing from her blue eyes. "I don't Perrie, she's nice and funny and last night was-" I cut myself off before I say something I would regret for the rest of my life. "Last night was what?" She asks sensing her anger rising. "Nothing babe-" but this time she cuts me off.

"Don't babe me! What the hell happened?" she says. "I enjoyed myself okay! I actually liked last night a lot, I began doing it for my pleasure not to save our marriage. I don't know why but I connected with her on a different level I didn't attend it to. I'm sorry but I couldn't lie to you any more" I say letting it out knowing that this is coming to an end.

My thoughts were destroying me, destroying us. I tried not to think but her silence was a killer too. I had expected to her crying, breaking down and there was no way I could help. But nothing, she felt so far way. "What are we doing?" She says causing my eyes to water. "I honestly have no clue" I say. "I used to feel at home and safe in your arms, but I don't even know you any more" she states the truth killing me slowly.

"Is there a way to fix this?" I ask, hoping in some unlikely way that there was one. "Zayn you fucked another girl and enjoyed it!" She yells at me. "Your the one who told me too" I defend myself- knowing it would do no good. "Yes to end this so we could fix us but I didn't know you where going to fall in love with her!" She yells her voice breaking at the end.

"I'm not in love with her yet" I say then realising what I just had said. "Yet? Of course your already falling  for her. Zayn remember me? Your wife? The one you promised to love for ever, the one you had children with. The one your meant to be loyal to and never hurt. But you've broken me to a point where I don't even know who I am any more. Just give me one good reason why I shouldn't just drop everything and leave you" she preaches causing me to feel numb, the tears fading away and no feeling left.