West Side Story (but with lesbians)

Act 1. Scene 4.

10:00 P.M. The gym.

Both gangs are jitterbugging wildly with their bodies, but their faces, although they are enjoying themselves, remain cool, almost detached. The line between the two gangs is sharply defined by the colors they wear: the Jets, girls as well as boys, reflecting the colors of the Jets jackets; the same is true of the Sharks. The dancing is a physical and emotional release for these kids. Maria enters with Chino, Bernardo and Anita. As she looks around, delighted, thrilled by this, her first dance, the Jets catch sight of Bernardo, who is being greeted by Pepe, his lieutenant, and other Sharks. 

GLAD HAND: [beaming] All right, boys and girls! Attention, please! [Hum of talk.] Attention! [Krupke appears behind Glad Hand: the talk stops.] Thank you. It sure is fine turnout tonight. [Ad libs from the kids.] We want to make friends here, so we're going to have a few get-together dances. [Ad libs: "Oh, ginger peachy," ect.] You form two circles: boys on the outside and girls on the inside.

SNOWBOY: Where are you?

GLAD HAND: [tries to laugh at this] All right. Now when the music stops, each boy dances with whichever girl is opposite. O.K.? O.K. Two circles, kids. [The kids clap their hands back at him and ad lib: "Two circles, kids," ect., but do not move.] Well, it won't hurt you to try.

SNOWBOY: [limping forward]Oh, it hurts; it hurts; it- [Krupke steps forward. Snowboy straightens up and meekly returns to his place. Riff steps forward and beckons to his girl, Velma. The challenge is met by Bernardo, who steps forward, leading Anita as though he were presenting the most magnificent lady in all the world. The other kids follow, forming the two circles Glad Hand requested.]

GLAD HAND: That's it, kids. Keep the ball rolling. Round she goes and where she stops, nobody knows. All right: here we go!

[Promenade music starts and the circles start revolving. Glad Hand, whistles to this mouth, is in the center with Krupke. He blows the whistle and the music stops, leaving the Jet boys opposite Sharks girls, and vice versa. There is a moment of tenseness, then Bernardo reaches across the Jet girl opposite for Anita's hand, and she comes to him. Riff reaches for Velma; and the kids of both gangs follow suit. The "get-together" has failed, and each gang is on its own side of the hall as a mambo starts. This turns into a challenge dance between Bernardo and Anita-cheered on by the Sharks-and Riff and Velma-cheered on by the Jets. During it, Tony enters and is momentarily embraced by Riff, who is delighted that his best friend did turn up. The dance builds wilder and wilder, until, at the peak, everybody is dancing and shouting. "Go, Mambo!" It is at this moment that Toni and Maria-at opposite sides of the hall-see each other.]

TONI: You're not thinking I'm someone else?

MARIA: I know you are not.

TONI: Or that we have met before?

MARIA: I know we have not.

TONI: I felt, I knew something-never-before was going to happen, had to happen. But this is-

MARIA: [interrupting]My hands are cold. [She takes them in hers.] Yours, too. [She moves her hand to her face.] So warm. [She moves her hands to her face.]

TONI: Yours, too.

MARIA: But of course. They are the same.

TONI: It's so much to believe-you're not joking me?

MARIA: I have not yet learned how to joke that way. I think now I never will.[Impulsively, she stops to kiss her hands; then tenderly, innocently, her lips. The music bursts out, the lights flare up, and Bernardo is upon them in an icy rage.] 

BERNARDO: Go home, "American."

TONI: Slow down, Bernardo.

BERNARDO: Stay away from my sister!

TONI: ...Sister?

[Riff steps up.]

BERNARDO: [to Maria]Couldn't you see she's one of them?

MARIA: No; I saw only her.

BERNARDO: [as Chino comes up] I told you; there's one thing they want from a Puerto Rican girl!

TONI: That's a lie!

RIFF: Cool, boy. 

CHINO: [to Toni] Get away.

TONI: You keep out, Chino. [To Maria:] Don't listen to them!

BERNARDO: She will listen to brother before-

RIFF: [overlapping] If you characters want to settle-

GLAD HAND: Please! Everything was going so well! Do you fellows get pleasure out of making trouble? Now come on-it won't hurt you to have a good time.

[Music starts again. Bernardo is on one side with Maria and Chino; Anita joins them. Toni is on the other with Riff and Diesel. Light emphasizes the first group.]

BERNARDO: I warned you-

CHINO: Do not yell at her, 'Nardo.

BERNARDO: You yell at babies.

ANITA: And put ideas in the baby's head.

BERNARDO: Take her home, Chino.

MARIA: 'Nardo, it is my first dance.

BERNARDO: Please. We are family, Maria. Go.

[Maria hesitates, then starts out with Chino as the light follows her to the other group, which she passes.]

RIFF: [to Diesel, indicating Toni happily] I guess the kid's with us for sure now. [Toni doesn't even hear; she is starting at Maria, who stops for a moment.]

CHINO: Come, Maria. 

[They continue out.]

TONY: Maria... [She is unaware that Bernardo is crossing toward her, but Riff intercepts.]

BERNARDO: I don't want you.

RIFF: I want you, though. For a war council-Jets and Sharks.

BERNARDO: The pleasure is all mine.

RIFF: Let's go outside.

BERNARDO: I would not leave the ladies here alone. We will meet you in half an hour.

RIFF: Doc's drugstore? [Bernardo nods.] And no jazz before then.

BERNARDO: I understand the rules-Native Boy. [The lights is fading on them, on everyone but Toni.]

RIFF: Spread the word, Diesel.

DIESEL: Right, Daddy-o.

RIFF: Let's get the chicks and kick it. Toni?

TONI: Maria...

[Music stars.]

RIFF: [in darkness] Toni!

DIESEL: [in darkness] Ah, we'll see him at Doc's.

TONI: [speaking dreamily over the music-she is now standing alone in the light] The most beautiful sound I ever heard.

VOICES [off stage:]Maria, Maria, Maria, Maria...

TONY: All the beautiful words of the world in a single word: 

 VOICES [off stage:]Maria, Maria, Maria, Maria...[Swelling in intensity.]

TONY: Maria! I've just met a girl named Maria, And suddenly that name will never be the same to me. Maria! I've just kissed a girl named Maria, and suddenly I've found how wonderful a sound can be! Maria! Say it loud and there's music playing-Say it soft and it's almost like praying-Maria... I'll never stop saying Maria! The most beautiful sound I ever heard. Maria.

CHORUS [offstage, against Toni's obbligato:] I've just met a girl named Maria, and suddenly that name will never be the same to me. Maria-I've just kissed a girl named Maria, and suddenly I've found how wonderful a sound can be!

TONI: Maria-Say it loud and there's music playing-Say it soft and it's almost like praying-Maria-I'll never stop saying Maria!The most beautiful sound I ever heard-Maria.

[During the song, the sage behind Toni has gone dark; by the time she has finished, it is set for the next scene.]