Like A Pheonix - peterick fic

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a/n hey :) okay so it's been in 3rd person pov a lot and it's going to be in this chapter too, but the rest of the book will be mostly Patrick's/ Pete's pov. Also some trigger warnings in this chapter for homophobia and abuse.
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The funeral finished around 5pm. Not many people showed, but that's okay. It made it more private.
Patrick and his brother Joe were now in the car, on the way back. Joe was driving, and patrick wanted him too. And it's not like patrick could drive anyway, he was only 17. But Joe had been teaching him since he was 16, ever since their mom left. They had let patrick bend the rules slightly with getting around, seeing as joe wasn't always available, and it's not like their dad was ever sober enough to drive them anywhere.
But now their dad was gone. So with no other siblings and no mom and no dad, technically, Patrick and Joe didn't have any family left.

Sure, they had some distant uncles and  aunts, perhaps a few cousins and in laws too if they search hard enough, but no one who actually cared. So now it was just the two of them.

And that thought scared them more than anything.

The drive home was silent, apart from the quiet noise of the radio. He recognised the song, it was from an old album. Patrick couldn't remember the name of the song, but he knew it was by David Bowie. one of his favourites.
Usually, patrick would hum along to the radio. Hell, most of the time patrick would go all out and pretend he was in concert. But right now, all he could do was stare out of the window and imagine a world where he was happy.

Joe was first to break the silence.
"Hey Patrick, when do you go back to school again?" Joe asked it light heartedly, but the sentence filled Patrick with dread.
"Next week I think" Patrick mumbled, already trying to forget the turmoil he would have to go through for another year. School.
"Well aren't you excited? You get to see some of your friends again, right?"
"Friend. Not plural." Patrick corrected Joe sourly. But it was true, Patrick was in a marginally better mood knowing he got to see his only friend and best friend, Brendon, next week. He always cheered him up because he was the human embodiment of an excited puppy.

Only thing is, last year, Brendon met Ryan. They sat together in French language, and they were already crazy about each other after a week. A month later, Patrick did Brendon a huge favour by shoving him into Ryan in the corridor, (childish, but genius in Patrick's opinion) resulting somehow in Brendon getting Ryan's number. To this day, patrick still has no idea how, but Brendon always claims it's because he is
"smoother than melted butter, bitch".

But they are still dating to this day, and Brendon talks about Ryan almost all the time. Which is okay, because Brendon can make any story funny or any topic entertaining, but it's just a bit of a reminder that patrick will probably never have what Brendon and Ryan have. Patrick is much too awkward and nerdy, and not to mention way too fat. Patrick knew his chances were minuscule. But he would listen to Brendon talk about his boyfriend, because then he can daydream about a parallel universe where he has a boyfriend.

Joe knew Patrick was gay, and he was fine with it, mostly because Joe was bisexual. But unfortunately, their father found out about Patrick. Mostly because Patrick would always talk about this one boy at school, Alex gaskarth. Patrick had a huge crush on him, and it was pretty clear when he was talking about him. So when their dad realised Patrick was gay, Patrick's life got considerably worse. On a daily basis, Patrick was insulted, attacked, starved and humiliated. Joe had tried stopping their dad, but Joe was a pretty skinny guy and their dad was built like a bull. And Patrick always pleaded for Joe to stay out of it. So whenever patrick got a new bruise on his cheek or on his eye, all Joe could do was get him some ice, and get some concealer ready for the next day at school. It was an awful routine, and in those days, Patrick often wished his dad dead. But what patrick didn't realise until after his dad's death was that even though he hated his dad so much, he still loved him. Because he was his dad. He was biologically connected to him. And after all, he had been a good dad. For a while. He only started to turn after their mom left, when patrick was 14. So he still had lasting memories of his old dad.
But Patrick couldn't convince himself it wasn't his fault his dad turned. He was sure that if he wasn't gay, his dad would never have become the monster he did, and he would have lived much longer.
So as soon as the car pulled up into the driveway, Patrick ran out of the car and through the door, and headed straight to his room. He locked his door, crawled under the covers, and closed his eyes. He prayed when he fell asleep, he would never wake up.

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we meet Peter next chapter :))