Because of You

Because of You-5

I decided that school was a load of bullshit so I'm not going again. And that's not a 'I'm not going again' meaning, I'm staying off tomorrow, but I'll probably go the next day. I mean it! Never. Ever. They can't force me, can they?

I got up and switched on my laptop, wanting to search the Internet for tips on anti-depression. I mean, I know that it'll just come up with a load of lifeline numbers, but I was hoping for something like wiki answers to have a good answer.

I typed in my password and almost immediately I was on my home screen. It was a new laptop, a present from my parents before the... Incident...

-Flashback-

"Happy Birthday, honey!" called my Dad as he walked through the door, carrying a large box, wrapped in pink and blue paper.

"Thanks Dad!" I said, ripping off the paper, childish, I know, I'm fourteen! No wait, fifteen! Aah, I still love my birthday!

"Oh my freaking god!" I exclaimed, as I saw the apple computer. I jumped up and hugged my father, how much did that thing cost?

"Anytime, I'm pleased you like it." smiled my Dad, and I couldn't resist the obvious remark I had to make.

"Oh, in that case, I'll have another?" I said, grinning and opening the box to take a proper look.

"Psh, you're pushing your look there, I can always return it!" Dad said, also grinning.

"No! Never!" I shouted, dragging out the words for dramatic effect and hugging my newly acquired laptop to my chest.

"You are such a drama queen!" Mother said, sighing and throwing up her arms in fake exasperation.

"Says you!" I retort, pointing accusingly and forming an 'o' shape with my mouth.

"Honestly, you two," My father chuckled...

-Flashback over-

My fifteenth birthday, only three months ago. I remember it only too well.

I've been on the Internet for the past five minutes, and so far the only thing other than lifeline numbers, cutting. I am NOT going there again.

I logged into my Facebook, haven't been on there for a while. I scrolled through my old pictures, I looked so happy. Although that was before I list everything, if I added one now my goodness would there be a difference!

I typed into my status bar, 'Anyone know any cures for depression?' I clicked 'update' and continued to search for websites.

About two minutes later my laptop beeped and I went back on Facebook.

'Chris Parker:

Anti depression? Psh! Jump off a cliff, I won't miss you! ;)'

Tears welled up in my eyes. I closed down my account.

The reason that got to me so badly was that I have had a few moments when I've seriously thought about suicide. And well, it's not like I'm just some fake emo, that goes around wanting sympathy, I'm, well, bipolar, I suppose, since my parents died, before Ryan.

-Flashback-

Picking up the knife, a feeling of both excitement and terror washed over me, soaking in, and working it's way around my whole body, until I was fully trembling.

It was two days ago that my parents were murdered, it had only just registered in my mind, and I couldn't bare it!

Gripping the knife tightly, I slowly cut at my wrist, gently at first.

I started feeling dizzy, and that was when the forensics walked through the door. Shit!

"What the hell happened here? Joe! Call an ambulance!" A tall, burly man in overalls shouted. That was the last thing I remembered before I blacked out.

-Flashback over-

I let out a large sigh and sank back into the arm chair, feeling tired and depressed.

I woke up to the sound of post. I decided to go and read it, might take my mind off things.

I picked it up and went back to sit down. I opened it, and, after reading it, I started to tremble.

The letter said...

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