This world is so full of misery and hatred. I hate walking around and seeing all those sneering faces that people wear because they think they are so much better than you. If I could, I would smack those smirks right off. However, I can't and I won't. People might be crude and nasty, but there is still beauty in the world.
The sun rises and it glorifies the sky. Bringing with it a certain warmth that cannot be pertained through anything else. People that are in love prove that there is love in the world. We humans take all this beauty and love for granted. People make mistakes, yes, but to actually take someone's soul and crush it and break it down so that it wears thin? That is inhumane.
I'm so sick of walking by people in the halls at school and see them look at others like they're some messed up freak. Like they don't belong here. Everybody belongs. Whether you like it or not they were put on this Earth for reason. I'm so sick of others being blamed by people, especially for things that were out of their control. It's not like they murdered someone. They're human. They have feelings too.
You see a boy being cornered by people that are bigger and they hit him. They not only hit his face, but they hit his heart as well. These people don't know that that boy that they just beat up has a mother in the hospital for cancer and his dad already hits him. Yet, that's just it! People don't know!
They don't realize that everything they do has an effect. A consequence. They think that they can push someone down or talk behind someone's back without having consequences. That girl that they just called fat could go home tonight and kill herself. And it's not just direct bullying either.
Rumors. Rumors spread and everyone believes them because they want drama. Someone starts a rumor saying that a girl had sex with her best-friend's boyfriend because they sat together at lunch. So what? They ATE LUNCH. People are sick. And even if what they said was true, why would it be any of their business?
I used to cut. I attempted suicide. I'm not ashamed. And people bully me for it. "Oh, she's pathetic.", "She's crazy.", "She just wants attention." When really?Those aren't even close to the reasons why. It's because I was so sick and tired of being stomped on. Not just by bullies, but by adults too. My own FAMILY. I was so sick and tired of being taken for granted. Everyone here called me a bitch and you know what? I was. The reason being that I had had enough of everyone's shit and so I showed them exactly that. Although when I first came here none of you had done me any wrong, but I was so fed up with the fact that everywhere I went people judged me and used me and hurt me.
I could sit here and give you my entire life story. But it wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't change how you all look at me. No, but I can sit here and lecture you about how bullying needs to stop. I know you have heard it many times, but what have you DONE to stop it? Have you ever TRIED? I bet you haven't. And I bet you probably never will.
Everyone is beautiful. No one is a mistake. Everyone belongs. People make fun of people who self-harm and say that they're looking for attention. Yeah, some people do. Not everyone though, Most people do it because they want to take the pain away. Or maybe they feel like they deserve the pain. You don't know someone's story. And I hate when I hear people, girls especially, gossiping. Imagine this. Your mom calls the school and has you come home early. You're pissed because you wanted to spend the day with your friends. Yet, when you get home you find out your brother hung himself. And months after the funeral you don't talk to anyone and your parents start arguing. Then they get a divorce. Can't you imagine how hard that would be to lose someone you love? What if it was one of your friends? What if it was YOU? What if you attempted suicide and you came back to school finally and everybody was talking about you. "Oh wow. She's back?Ugh, I hate her. I wish she did die." What if you heard that as you were walking to your locker? And half of the people in the school you don't even know. Death is a real thing. It's not imaginary. It's not fake. Once someone's gone, they're gone forever. You ignorant teenagers need to realize that.
Yeah, I may have been a complete bitch. But, I've changed. That person you saw last year wasn't me. This girl you're seeing this year IS me. I was just consumed by anger. I didn't understand how to let things out or learn how to calm myself down. All I was thinking was, "Screw you and you and you. I hate you all." Thank you to the people who stuck by me though. Thank you for the people who, despite our many fights, refused to give up on me. I needed you. I needed to see that there are people still left that care. So quit laughing at me.
I hope none of you ever have to go through what I did. And if you do eventually, I'm not going to be like you. I'm not going to joke about suicide or wish you had died. It's wrong. It's inhumane. And I forgive you for your idiotic ways. After all, you know nothing when it comes to life.
