Scarlett Wrists||wattys2016

part 6

"Confidence is silent, Insecurities are loud"

1 meal. 2 meals. 3 meals. 4 meals. 5 meals. Society is she skinny yet? 1 cut. 2 cut 3 cut 4 cut 5 cut. Society is she strong yet? 1 hour to pick out an outfit. 2 hours so her hair is strait. 3 to do her makeup. Society is she pretty yet?

Every day it's the same. She will cut herself. The bleeding will stop. The wounds will heal. And all of her problems are still here.

She sits in the rain hopping to drown in something other than her own thoughts.

Her days become ash grey. The nights are too long. All her words sound wrong. There is nothing left good to say. As she lays down there are no dreams left. Daylight becomes boredom and all she does is lay awake.

She looks in the mirror and wishes she was pretty and thin. She changes her hair thinking someone will start to care. She starved herself feeling beautiful. Who cares about her health? She cuts her wrists feeling like she exists. What her mirror is showing her is killing her.

Her fake friends told her she wasn't worth having friends like them. They told her she didn't even deserve friends. They told her that she wasn't worth having people love her. That she didn't deserve people in her life. And the sad part is she believed them.

She has no self-confidence but yet she has a big ego. She wants to turn her life around. Yet all she thinks about is dying. She wants people to think she has no weaknesses. Yet all she does is cry.

She wants to be the best at everything. But she doesn't want to try. She wants to stop hurting herself. Yet that's all she seems to do now. She doesn't want people to see her scars. Yet she wants people to see that she's scared.

When she wakes up she just wants to be happy. But she doesn't want to wake up anymore.

She's a flickering light bulb that's about to go out. Inside her heart is a story she doesn't know where to start. Her story is so sad it leaves the broken hearted people happy again. Because her story is the worst you'll ever hear. From the lips of a recluse gone mad with sadness. And an episodes of loneliness.

She is made up of words that no one understands. She's a dictionary full of heartache and loneliness. Her heart is a poem for the hopeless.

Some days she regrets everything. Her scars will always be there. She'll never forget the loneliness she felt. Even in a few years when all the pain is "forgotten" she'll never forget how worthless the world made her feel.

She'll never forget how much she cried. The memories of the past will live on with her forever.

She is always alone. Alone at school. Alone at home, silent in her room. Alone with her thoughts. Alone when she cries. She's alone when she wakes up. Alone when she has her panic attacks.

Alone among family alone. Alone among friends. She tells herself she will be alone when she dies. She says she'll be forever alone.