I keep wondering what he would have been like if mom hadn't killed him and I don't know if i'm a monster for wishing that he was alive, or if i'm a monser for being happy that he's not in this hell with me
day after day
problem after problem
I want to cut
so many problems
crashing around me
pounding me down
i wish i knew if i should wish
that my little brother was alive
or should I be happy that he's dead
should I be happy
that he's in paradise now
and not in the hell I call life
or shold I wish he was here?
Its not something I can ever forgive
mom's drinking the day away
she got pregnant again
he never made it full term
I don't know what to think
maybe he was just to weak
maybe it was that mom was drinking
like she always is
should I be sad that I never knew him?
Should I be happy that he's with the angles now?
Its for his sake
and his sake alone
that i try to beleive
in angles
in the afterlife
for the baby brother I never knew
But I'm selfish
I wish he was here
I wish I had him to comfort me
I knew I souldn't wish
that he was in the hell I call life
but can you blame me for at least
wanting to know what color his hair was going to be?
what his eye color was?
Can you blame me for wishing I had a home?
For wishing that I had a family?
For wishing that I'd at least met my little brother once?
