Black Down Diary 3

Day 5540

I Am freken 5540 days old i feel old to to :( yet im only 15 years old . 

My life is an odd story i hope i will will be a rockstar someday i want to be like ronnie radke he is my idiol if i see somebody whereing a falling in rverse shirt i instantly want to say hi and talk i am adicted to mental pain people say there adicted to physical pain emo if u will i am emo in my own way i tair my self up by thinking i am falling them feel bad cause i figure out i dont i cant be chainded anymore then i already am i will force my self to love and sometimes it works sometimes it doesnt.

I am used to having a constant girl a constant love at first in colorato it was a girl named skarlet and then it was nicole she broke my heart in 4th grade i came with flours and a toy ring with a suit on to ask her to be my girlfiend and she moved i was crying for 2 weeks and then i went back to skarlet then i moved i needed a change but really all it was was a new house this girl beutiful i still talk to her to this day came to my door step asking for change to buy a soda i saw hurt at school the next day my first day i neerly died i saw her and i had to have her i loved her i sware i needed her she moved to idaho about 5 months ago i still miss her i swere a peace of me went with her.

A month after my ex scarlet texted me on FB and sent me her number we started texting and we tried long distance it worked for a while i didnt feel chained it was perfect it got intence we loved each other we couldnt get of the phone then she broke it off and broke my heart and she said she has douted our realation ship for 2 weeks she felt bad she didnt want to hert me again but she did it anyway she broke me again. About 2 months later i met this girl named kayla i really liked her but she didntlike me so that ended quikly i waded to go out untill about 2 weeks ago when i dated emily but u have herd that story