When I think back on it now, the most horrific and life changing experience to ever occur in my life, is nothing but a fogged blur, yet every ounce of terror still resides within the memory. I have time on my hands that most others don't to let my mind slip away into those dark and cold places that others would have left abandoned long ago. Time is a blessing disguised to the human eye as a curse. This is the thought I most often ponder. It it a small piece of hope that keeps my heart beating and my blood coursing through my veins, as I sit here, day after day, close to motionless. It's hard to explain how packed ones head can become when crammed with new thoughts and questions constantly that are incapable of being released or answered. My heart is so full of curiosity and wonder that is destined to sit idle for as long as I remain on the earth. My senses have dulled, my mind is often numb, and I am completely trapped within my own immobile bag of bones. I was never supposed to end up like this, and my life should have never been spared. But as I've come to know, the world is and never will be completely fair to those who deserve the most. I've had what seems like an endless amount of time to ponder questions, emotions, and outcomes in my mind as I lay alone in this paper white stone room. After all, I've excepted my fate, and so has everyone who has ever loved me.
