Take Good Care

Heavy

"Harry" I blurted out in total shock.

"Hello, Dom." He put his hands in his pockets and looked down at the ground awkwardly.

"What are you doing here?"

"Erm to...explain some things."

As much as I didn't want him around me right now for partially ruining my life, I wanted an explanation. 

"Come upstairs." I told him, leading the way. As we walked up the stairs thoughts ran through my head of what he was going to say to me. Was he going to apologize? Was he going to want to get back together with me? Was he going to explain why he cheated? I wanted to keep my expectations low so I wouldn't be so disappointed but I couldn't help myself. I love Harry.

I love how when he wears beanies his brown curls fall out of the sides. I loved when he would write me little love notes and leave them in places for me to find when he was gone, performing or doing an interview. I love how his lips touched mine unexpectedly. I love how he is genuinely nice to people, and how the fame doesn't get to him. I love how he makes corny jokes and is interested in whatever I am talking about. I love how he always looks me in the eyes and cares about me. I love Harry Styles.

But he destroyed my trust and completely flipped my life around, and I'm not so sure this could be forgiven so quickly.

We sit down in the den, facing each other as he sits on a chair opposite of me. An awkward silence fills the room for quite awhile and I look around waiting for Harry to speak. As soon as I'm about to open my mouth, he opens his.

"Dom, I don't know how to say this because I don't know if it will change anything. But, I'm sorry. I am so sorry for keeping secrets and not being around when you needed me. I'm sorry I couldn't dedicate all of my time to you and treat you as well as you deserve. I'm sorry for straining your friendships with the boys and for making you feel like you had to leave us and your job with Lux. And I'm sorry for hurting you." Harry pinches the bridge his nose as he holds back tears. I can see he is truly regretful for doing this to me, and I can see he is incredibly sorry.

"Harry, why'd you do it?" I ask, tears starting to swell in my eyes.

"I...I didn't do anything with Taylor. It was a publicity stunt. She is being flirty, but it's all for show. Our albums are coming out. I swear, Dom."

"I don't know if I believe you. Why would you go along with this?"

"It started out as a friendship and our managers thought it would be a great idea to bring us together in the public eye. I wanted to be nice to Taylor and get to know her."

"This is bullshit. Everyone knew you were dating me."

"They didn't care."

"Well you should have."

I can see my words stung him and he realized his wrong actions as he stared at the ground in defeat. 

"I'm really sorry."

"It doesn't really make up for what you did, Harry. And it doesn't explain what you did either. It's going to take a long time for me to forgive you. You knew what we had and you knew how much I loved you and you were willing to throw it away to promote your career. That's disgusting. And that's not the Harry I know."

"I know, I know. I made a huge, stupid mistake. I don't want to lose you though, Dom. Even if you don't want to get back together in the future, I still need to have you in my life as a friend or something. And the boys miss you. They're pissed off at me and not talking to me for hurting you. Lou is upset you're gone, and Lux asks where you are. I feel like this is all my fault, and it is. We all want you to come back."

Harry pinches the bridge of his nose again and looks down. I can't believe they all wanted me to come back. The boys aren't talking to Harry so the band is slowly being ripped apart. Was this part of Paul and my father's plan? What was going to be the final straw to benefit Paul and my father?

"i just need some time to myself, Harry. I need to focus on my studies and my future. I miss everyone but I don't know if I belong with you guys anymore. I don't really know where I'm going in life and if I used my time wisely."

"Okay. Whatever you do in life Dom, you're going to be successful. And you're going to be loved. I know it. I know you. I lo-" Harry stops as he notices what he was about to say. He doesn't want to do any further damage or make things even more painful and awkward. 

"Thank you, Harry. You know it's the same for you. I have to go to work in a little bit, so you may want to leave." 

We both stand up and stare at each other for what seems like forever. 

"Okay, bye Dom. It was nice seeing you. And I really hope you can forgive me and start talking to me again. I'm sorry, again. Take good care."

"Bye, Harry."

We stare back at each other a few times before he leaves my apartment. That was more painful then I expected it to be, and I cry a little. If Harry loved me and cared about me, why would he do those things? Why would he throw us away for someone he barely knows and for a little album promotion controversy? I wanted to move on with my life and worry about me. And I don't think going back with the boys, Lou, and Lux was the way to go.