If I Had

Chapter 10

"Hey babe" I said stepping into Natasha's room after dropping Luke at home. And boy I would be lying if I said that she didn't look hot. Her hair was open. Her face lacked makeup however there was red lipstick coated on her lips that made want to capture my lips in hers. My eyes trailed down to the rest of my body and my breathe hitched. She was wearing a skimpy robe that left nothing to imagination. She look sexy as hell.
But not as sexy as Eliza.
I mentally shook my head. What was I even thinking about? Eliza and Me? Yeah when pigs fly.
"Hey baby" and that's where I mentally cringed. Like ugh. Why did I even keep coming back to this chick? Her voice was so nasally that it gave me a headache. But of course she had a hot body and she was my so called 'girlfriend'. But what helped the most and made up for her voice was that the sex was amazing. I wouldn't say that it would knock your pants off (no pun intended) but hell yeah it was good.
Natasha walked towards me slowly, slowly slipping the robe off her. Seeing her in that sexy lingerie, my pupils dilated and I slowly walked towards her, kissing her lips and then slowly kissing her jaw. This led to a heavy makeout session which lasted an hour or so without her speaking. "Oh Andrew you're so amazing. Stay with me tonight? Please? "
"You know I can't . I have to take care of Luke. "
"Oh come on. Stop treating him like a kid. It's just a stupid disease. How does it even matter!" She huffed
"Excuse me?" I said my anger flaring. "Luke is my younger brother. He's family. And he's always going to come before you. He has cancer. It's not just a stupid disease. It could be him dying. And yet I'm here with you all of people when I should have spent it with him. I can't really see what I keep seeing in you." I nearly shouted at her while getting out of her bed and putting my shirt on.
"Oh come on. Don't go. I didn't mean it. " she whined.
"Doesn't matter. I'm going home now. Goodbye."
"I'll see you in school tomorrow baby." She fake whined sobbed.
"Yeah yeah whatever" I growled while shutting the door after me.
I got into my car and I huffed into my hands. My life was breaking around me and the person I vented out to was no longer here. Having no option, I started my car and drove out of Natasha's driveway and went homewards.
Arriving home I opened the door with my keys and entered the house. I stood there for a minute. My head resting against the door. I was so tired. I just wanted to go to sleep. I just wanted to wake up when all this shitty business was over. And it really didn't help that my head was pounding and that my hand was itching to grab something. But I knew I couldn't. I knew I couldn't do it anymore cause I promised her that I wouldn't and I didn't really want to hurt her and imagine her looking at me with pity.
"Andrew honey, are you alright? " my mom asked me. Opening my eyes in surprise I turned around and saw her standing in front of me with a smile on her beautiful face rubbing her hands in a towel. "Mom?" What are you doing here?  I thought you wouldn't be here until early morning." "I just wanted to spend some time with my boys. So I gave Betty the night off and decided to cook you guys dinner. Your father will be arriving in a few minutes."
Betty was our family nanny and cook. She was always with us and was kind of like a replacement of our parents. She was an amazing person and a more amazing friend. She was also a good cook. But not as good as Mum.
"Yeah sure. How about I go up and freshen up? I also want to talk to Luke."
"Yeah sure. Come down fast. It's homemade pizza and spaghetti for dinner with sauce."
"Oh yum Mum. I'll be down soon."
"Oh and Andrew? What about the sweet girl you've been seeing these past few weeks? When are you planning on bringing her to dinner?"
Hopefully never. I thought climbing the stairs. After changing my clothes and freshening up, I walked down the hallway and opened the door beside mine.
Luke was sitting on his bed on the covers, still not having changed his clothes after the appointment.
"Hey Lukey? You okay? "I asked concerned. Luke was a very lively boy. He never sat down to think stuff through . He always did the stuff and then thought about the consequences. So seeing him sitting on the bed silently as if he was thinking deeply kind of surprised me.
"Oh? What? Yeah I'm fine. Just thinking."
"Wait a sec." I smirked "You can think? Hallelujah! Now why didn't you tell me before? I would have fed you Burger King every day for lunch like today had I known that it gave you the capability to think."
"Shutup Andrew and listen to me. I've been thinking about this. Me infact
About the fact that I won't survive. No don't look at me as if you're gonna argue with me. You know I'm right. Deep in your heart you know I am . And it doesn't matter what you're mind's telling you. I've known so many people who had cancer. Mr. Roberts from next door. The man from the pet store. My English teacher . Shawn's mom. Emily and so on. My lists could go on and on. And you know how many survived? How many of them walked out of the battlefield with their heads held high and fire in their eyes which says that they beat cancer? One . One among a million. What if I'm not the one? What if I'm one of the millions? What if I don't make it Andrew? What if someone else takes the life I'm supposed to have and lives it? What if once I close my eyes and welcome the darkness and only to find out that I'm never going to see the light. I'm so scared Andy. I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. I don't know who to turn to. Mom and Dad are hardly at home. So are you. The only person I can trust is Betty and she's not even here. I have so much to do in so little time and that makes me so sad. I want to grow up. Go out on adventures. Date girls. Ask my big brother to give me dating tips and get a beating from him after breaking a girls heart. I want to travel the world. I want to paradise, bungee jump,skydive. God anything. I just want to die. And not so soon." He said with tears in his eyes.
"Hey. Look at me. Look at me ." I said holding his face in my hands.
"You're not going anywhere. I don't care whether you believe it or not. But you're not. You're not going to be in the millions. You're going to be the one that survive. I don't care how. I don't care when and what . But you will survive. I know why you trust Betty. She's there for us when no one isn't. Yes. I know Mom and Dad aren't here much cause they need to work. But you know the lie in that? They're scared too. But they believe that you can make it. And I do so too. They only want the best for you squirt. And you know that. They work for long nights so they can earn millions to help their little boy. They love you . I love you . And even though we have crappy ways of showing it,always believe that. Now come on change outta your clothes dinners ready. And mom and dad are gonna eat with us." I told him while hugging him with tears in my eyes.
After Luke changed out of his clothes, we both went down to dinner. The entire floor was filled with an amazing smell .
"Hey boys. Come sit." Said Dad smiling at the two of us. We hadn't seen him for a long time . He still had that jolly smile and that sparkle in his eyes. God I had missed him.
Dinner was better than expected. It was not awkward. We all spoke,laughed and joked around and it was really surprising that we did cause the last time we had sat down together as a family was during Christmas at nona's house.