Well, number one I honestly don't know if you all read my stories or not. Number 2, this book is just full of the darkness that is my mind. Number 3, IT MAY BE TRIGGERING, so read at your own risk. Number 4, I don't know if you all will even bother...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Ugh, I have to say being alone with my thoughts has got to be my greatest enemy. The voices are constantly telling me things like "You're a worthless attention-whore who nobody actually loves", "You really want to eat another bite of food you fat, ugly pig", "Why don't you cut? Not like anyone cares", oh and here is my favorite (sarcasm intended) "GO DIE YOU WORTHLESS, UNLOVED, FAT, UGLY, BISEXUAL BITCH."
Thank you voices for always telling me what you see, I wish I could just hit a mute button sometimes and shut them up, but no they are always there. Although, you want to know something? People always want to say you are being an attention-whore or that you should just get over it or its a phase or you are confused because they don't fully understand what is going on. Depression isn't just something that is a one time thing, it is a mental condition that grabs hold and is not easy to get rid of, it makes you feel this lasting deep sadness that is always there. No matter how hard you try being happy its always there like a shadow in the darkness stealing your joy, energy, and just makes you into something you wish you could change.
Self-Harm is not something people use to seek attention (well some do) but it is something that people really believes will get rid of the sadness or darkness looming over them. They always tend to hide it, especially in places they know that no one will look. It gives them a rush that helps the voices to disappear for a little while.
Eating disorders is an illness that affects people physically as well as emotionally. Although, you never really know if a person is suffering from one and when people have them they tend to try and hide it for as long as they can. When it comes to eating disorders, at least for me anyway, the voices talk to me telling me I'm fat and that I would look so much prettier if I dropped the weight and I listen which usually ends up with me eating very little to no food at all in a day. Also, with eating disorders the longer you go without getting help for them and getting them diagnosed the closer you could be to dying because of one.
I would know what these are like because I suffer from them every single day and it sucks.
