Women In Islam

Chapter 4 : Marriage

What we need to teach our daughters…?

We need to teach our daughters to distinguish between,

A man who flatters her and a man who compliments her,

A man who spends money on her and a man who invests in her,

A man who views her as property and a man who views her properly,

A man who lusts after her and man who loves her,

A man who believes he’s a gift to women and a man who believes she’s a gift to him.

And then we need to teach our sons to be that kind of man. <3

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Allah created men and women as company for one another, so that they can procreate and live in peace and tranquility. 

I recently had this realization of why Allah swt forbid pre-marital relationships. Imagine the emotional trauma it would cause a woman from going from one failed relationship to another, starting the relationship ‘getting to know each other‘ process over and over again, only to have the relationship fail again. At that point she would have accumulated an abundance of baggage and quite possibly suffer from trust issues, to insecurity, to developing a self made image of someone who is undesirable, to even concluding on never opening her heart up to anyone again. It is out of His mercy and love for us, that he makes certain things impermissible.

The heart, is the softest most delicate flesh, and women are even more delicate creatures. The Almighty forbid these things for He knows that many of us will not be able to bear the pain, the emotional burden, and all the distress that comes along with pre-martial relationships. Unlike marriage that binds a man to the laws of God, dating binds a man to his own laws. --- [Nashspeaks.com]

The Noble Quran clearly shows that in contrast to other religions like Christianity, Judaism, and Buddhism etc. which consider celibacy or monasticism as a great virtue and a means of salvation, Islam considers marriage as one of the most virtuous and approved institutions. The Messenger of Allah(SAW) declared, "There is no monoasticism in Islam". He further ordained,

"O you young men! Who ever is able to marry should marry, for that will help him to lower his gaze and guard his modesty".[Al Bukhari]

Modesty was regarded as a great virtue by the Prophet. " Modesty is a part of faith" [Al Bukhari]

The importance of the institution or marriage receives its greatest emphasis from the following hadith of the Prophet,

"Marriage is a my sunnah, whoever keeps away from it is not from me."

The word Zawaj is used in the Quran to signify a pair or a mate. But in common parlance it stands for marriage. Since the family is the nucleus of the Islamic society, and marriage is the only way to bring families into existence. The Prophet (SAW) insisted upon his followers entering into marriage. The Shari'ah prescribes rules to regulate the functioning of the family so that both spouses can live together in love, security, and tranquility. Marriage in Islam has both aspects of Ibadah (worship) of Allah and Mu'amalah ( transactions between human beings).

The Prophet considered Marriage is half of our deen (religion) becauses it sheilds him from promiscuity, adultery, fornication, homosexuality, etc. which ultimately leads to many other evils like slander, quarreling, homicide, loss of property, and disintergration of the family. According to the Prophet (SAW) the remaining half of the faith can be saved by Taqwa.