Benjamin

chapter 3

The hot water hitting my cold sore back felt so good. The steam rising made it hard to see, I like it. I let myself fall to the floor of the bathtub closing my eyes, thinking, breathing.
I didn't want to be thinking, because at the moment I was thinking about how I didn't want to be breathing. Life just seems too hard for me. I'm also only 15, I probably don't know what a hard life is. But I do know I grew up way to fast and I know so much for my age. I just wanted to sleep for like 6 years. I quickly washed and rinsed my body and hair getting out drying off. I put on a pair of grey joggers and a baggy black t-shirt, putting my hip length dark brown hair up bun. I turned on a playlist of ed sheeran, halsey, tori kelly, adel, and justin trying to fall asleep. But those dark green pupils wouldn't leave my head. I didn't like this. Who does this Benjamin guy think he is? Taking away my sleep. Not that i ever sleep anyways. I let my eyes close and I drifting in and out. Until I looked at my clock it was 3am before I finally fell asleep. I can't remember what I dreamt about that night. But it wasn't a nightmare. Which is rare for me.

I woke up the next morning to my alarms going off. Groggily I got out of bed waking up Ara and my mother, dirty looks from the both of them. Getting ready I just put on a pair on light blue torn skinny jeans with a maroon shirt taking my hair down brushing my hair putting on a little bit of makeup.

Arabella alwayed called 'shotgun',Jocey didn't care, sitting in the back gave her more time to think,more space to breathe. The car trips to school never took that long,but they probably went by way faster because she hated going to school. Always.

The funny this is I used to strive to learn. I loved it. English and History the most. Learning fascinated me. But now? The schools have change high school is bullshit and it's not okay. Look where it's taken me; sitting in the back of my mom's car wishing I was dead thinking of those green eyes and drinking.

Those damn green eyes.

I wish he'd leave my head. I really do.

"Goodbye Jocey" my mom yelled to my little sister when she got out of the car, I shook my head. "Mom that's Ara, Arabella. I'm Jocey" I gave her a weak smile she nodded. "Yeah I knew that" she said pulling into my school. "Thanks mom have a good day, love ya." I said getting out of the car. "Goodbye Jocelyn" she waved pulling out not paying attention and almost hitting the car in front of her. I wish she'd just stop.

I waited till she was out of sight, walking the opposite direction of my school. Towards an old beat up run down church. Opening the bottle and pulling it's fluid into a cup I stood up and started to walk towards where I last saw him.

Last night I could have swore his house was yellow or something, but this morning I noticed it was a dark blue. It was nice on the outside and I couldn't even think of what the inside looked like. He had flowers all over the front of the yard and a garden of fruits and vegetables in the back.

I walked up and down those few blocks waiting for him to come out, but he didn't show. It was getting late and I needed to go home to Ara and my mother, also noticing that it was kind of creepy. I was walking away when I heard voice.

"Maddison?" He said in a questionable tone. I smiled shaking my head turning around him. "Rosa, Kaitlyn, Kallie, Hannah?" He repeated them all and I noticed a small Spanish accent slipping out. I laughed, "nope". He walked towards me, "Are you sure it's not Maddison or Maddy?" As I got closer the second whisper turned into a light scream. "No" I smiled " My name is Jocey" I stuck my hand out. "Well its Jocelyn but you can call me Jocey" I rushed the words out as he grabbed my hand shaking it. He smiled "Jocelyn" the second time he said it gave me butterflies, the way it rolled off his lips. This wasn't going to end well...bless me lord.

Authors note:
If you read this omg bless you, thank you❤️. I'm sorry it's been taking me so long to update. I'm already working on the next couple of chapters. I love you all. P.s; no Ben is not made off of Harry Styles, although he does have some of the same features. Thank you.