Hold Me Closer

Lost It all

( Small A/N I don't know who I will have more pov's for probably Ron to begin with because I am going to be following the story for at least the first two or three parts )

( Ron's Pov )
         You do not know the anxiety you feel when trying to walk through hundreds of walkers and your little brother is yelling your mom's name after being told he had to stay quiet. My heart was pounding and I was squeezing Carl's hand so tight I'm shocked it did not fall off, but he was squeezing mine back just as hard trying to comfort me. Sam had finally quieted down but the Sun was beginning to set and Rick pulled us all to the side. "A few flares won't work we need to get back to the quarry and get back to our cars so we can try and lead them all out" Rick said worry in his voice. "But what about Judith I- uh I can't" My mom was cut off by father Gabriel saying he would take Judith and Sam to his church to keep them safe while we tried to get back to the cars. Rick agreed a little unsure but went along with it but Sam being the brat he is refused to go and said he could keep going.
        We had begun moving again, rejoining hands. Carl seemed very unsure about father Gabriel taking his sister but didn't oblige. After walking for what seemed like forever, the sun had already set. I know it doesn't seem like Alexandria is that big but we have to have walk extremely slow with caution to not attract attention to ourselves. But then Sam stopped dead in his tracks with his eyes locked onto a walker that looked around his age wearing blue pajamas with a bite on his left shoulder. Sam begun to whimper and we were all shaking with fear thinking why the hell he had to do this now but I just kept whispering "Sam look at mom please Sam look at mom". But he just kept crying as we begged him to keep going but then the walkers became attracted to him and two came and bit right down into him one on his neck and the other right dead on the top his head. I was in shock, Sam's scream gave me chills all the way up my spine it was blood curdling. I just kept squeezing Carl's hand as hard as I could, I just couldn't let go, my mom was screaming Sam's name bawling her eyes out. Then more came and took my mom down right in front of me. She was still holding Sam's hand but she was holding Carl's to refusing to loosen her grasp. Rick looked like he was about to cry but then saw more walkers beginning to come over and realized what he had to do to save his son because Jessie was not going to let go. He chopped her hand off causing Carl to fall backwards, almost taking me down with him. I had just witnessed my brother and my mom taken down by walkers, I felt alone, I have no one a voice in the back of my head kept repeating. It is all Rick's fault just kept running through my mind then I noticed Carl's gun fell out of his holster when he feel down. I slowly picked it up and aimed it at Rick with tears falling out of my eyes. Carl then stepped in front of the barrel " Carl move " I said through my sobs. " Look Ron don't do this ok just look at me ok Ron look at me" Carl said his voice shaking . I slowly moved the gun up to my temple feeling as if I had nothing to live for, my whole family was dead, but before the gun could reach my temple Carl had grabbed the clutch trying to take it from me but when I released my grip the gun went off . I did not think it hit either of us,there was a ringing in my ears but as I opened my eyes I saw Carl's face he had a gash where his right eye would be and Crimson blood running down his face. I almost passed out at the sight knowing this was all my fault, Carl turned to face his father but all he could get out was "Dad ?" Before he fell to the ground. I was still in total shock as I saw Rick scoop Carl up bridal style and begin running to the infirmary with Michonne in front of them slashing left and right with her blade, then I began to run after Rick. After making it to the infirmary everyone in a panic Rick just kept repeating "please, please save my boy". Then he grabbed his axe walking out the door, I could see him out there slashing walkers left and right. I was still in a state of panic and shock, Carl's eye was shot out all because of my idiotic self and I lost the only family I had left. But my main worry was Carl I knew my family was gone but Carl was still breathing. After they got the bone fragments out of wound Michonne kissed his head and ran out the door slicing walkers beside Rick then Spencer, Eric, and Heath all ran out the door and began fighting back with them. I felt helpless, all of these people fighting walkers left and right as if they didn't see a family eaten alive but I'm still sitting here in shock scared to death to leave this infirmary. Rick was probably going to blame me for the loss of Carl's eye but it was my fault, if I wouldn't of tried to kill myself just maybe the plan could of worked if my selfish ways would not of got the best of me. I looked out the window and saw every Alexandrian fighting back at the walkers and our town lake on fire, "wow I missed a lot " I thought still shaking as I watched Denise patch up Carl and try to clean the wound.

( Carl's Pov )
      I saw Ron pointing a gun at my father after just seeing his family eaten alive, but I knew i could stop him. I stepped in front of him and begged him not to do this but then I saw him slowly bringing the gun to his temple and my first reaction was to grab it and to try and get it from him but when Ron released the gun from his grasp it went off. There was a ringing in my ears after hearing the blast but I was feeling immense pain on my left eye and I couldn't see. But out of my right eye I saw Ron with a shocked expressions and tears streaming down his face, I could feel the warm liquid running down my face, then I turned to my father. All I could manage to get out was a small "Dad? " then I blacked out and fell to the ground.