Hold Me Closer

Young Physcopaths

  ( Ron's Pov )
            Me and Carl just spent yesterday trying to recuperate from the night before,  not really Carl but just me.  I was not in shock or anything I just get freaked out by small things,  which seem like big things in my opinion but to him and everyone else it's just something you gotta expect.  When I watched what was left of my family die in front of me I knew I was going crazy because they were so many voices in my head that just had my emotions jumping from sadness, anger, and confusion as in wondering if what just happened was real or if it was all my imagination.  I'm pretty sure that I was temporarily insane, Carl was in a coma and I had literally had no one.  I was already partially crazy from all the times before when literally the smallest things pissed me off,  I cannot even imagine how bad I hurt Carl I mean I tried to shoot him for fucks sake. What is wrong with me, what if I'm crazy and just have pushed it to the back of my head, I tried to kill someone I loved because I cared about him I mean at the time I was thinking that if he was gonna die it was gonna be because of me not the flesh eating monsters outside my door.  We were past all of this now but a near death experience really makes you question your past self,  I was naive and stupid.  How could Carl even love me,  I was batshit crazy but when I'm with him I'm normal and happy for once in my life. Carl was so young when this all started all he knew was the apocalypse.  It did not affect his sanity because in his mind it was normal but I have been behind these suburban walls ever since it started so things affected me more and made me question my sanity.
       Yesterday was a day of silence as I like to call it because me and Carl just laid around and stared at the ceiling, we were not bored just lost in our own thoughts.  Then I woke up in the middle of the night with Carl buried into my side like a small kitten.  For some reason that's when I decided to question my sanity and thought process.  It was still dark outside but I knew it was around three or four in the morning.  So I was just gonna lay here till Carl woke up because he looked so peaceful and cute laying there with his arms draped over my chest.  I just stared out the window next to his bed and stared at the stars,  they have not been this beautiful in a while.  I looked down to Carl who flinched a little bit,  I was wondering what he was dreaming about that was making him flinch.  Then he quickly shot up with his eyes wide open, breathing heavily.  "Carl oh my God babe what's wrong" I said looking at him with worry in my expression.  "Just had a bad nightmare" he said after catching his breath. "Do you wanna talk about it" I said rubbing his back.  "Can we go sit on the roof and talk about it" he said looking out the window.  "Uh sure" I said after thinking about it.  We got out of bed and opened the window then crawled out onto the roof.  "The stars are beautiful" he said marveling over them.  "So are you" I said as I watched Carl look at the night sky.  He looked down and blushed a little,  but I put my hand on his chin and lifted his face to make him meet my gaze.  I pecked his lips then scooted closer to him on the roof top.  "Do you wanna tell me about your dream now" I said leaning my head on his shoulder.  "It was just my mom and she was yelling at me about something but I couldn't understand her,  it was scary she was crying and had a bullet hole in her head.  I was trying to tell her I was sorry but she kept screaming" he said beginning to cry a little bit. I pulled him into a tight embrace and began to rub his back. After hugging for a few minutes and crying tears we sat on the roof and stared at the stars.  "Carl am I insane" I asked out of no where.  "No of course not but why are you asking, do you think your insane" he said sounding concerned.  "I don't know I just questioned myself this morning, at one point in time I knew I was crazy because everything made me mad and angry.  I was unstable and I tried to kill you and your dad for no fucking reason I mean what is wrong with me" I said looking Carl in the eye.  "You are not crazy" he said laughing a little.  "Me and you are just young psychopaths" he said looking at me then looking down and smiling.
       (A/N - Sorry this was a bit of a shorter chapter but I went out with a few friends and got home like late and was trying to write this and kept getting interrupted lol.  Sorry it's so late but I'm gonna put out a really long one tomorrow, love you guys. 💜💜💜💜😄☺️)