One Direction One Shots 3

I Can't Breathe (Leaving Me Quite a Mess Part Two) (Harry)

An irritating screeching sound was assaulting my ears before I turned over and violently slammed my palm down on the alarm button, ending its mercilessly shrill attack. It was six in the morning and I was completely exhausted, even though I hadn’t left my bedroom since yesterday afternoon. Laying back on my side and cradling my pillow between my arms, I sniffled and wiped my eyes with my bare shoulder, not bothering to put on a shirt, or even pants for that matter, after I took a shower the day before. I took a couple deep breaths, hoping that it would help calm me down because I couldn’t let my family see that I had been quietly sniveling into my comforter all night long; my man card was definitely on the line here.

Turning back over to see that the clock read 6:05, which meant I had approximately five more minutes until my mother burst through the door, practically in tears herself, to tell me this was the first day of the rest of my life and that she can’t believe her baby boy, who used to trip over his own two feet, is going off to play college soccer today. The early summer sun began to peek its way through my bedroom curtains, casting random rays of light all over my previously dim bedroom. Its assail continued not only against my waning ability to comfortably sit in my bed, but threw one of its sadistic beams to the top of my dresser, where I could see the tiny glint of a gold chain and its mint-colored jewel. I couldn’t keep myself from staring at it and picturing her face as she desperately tried to take it from around her neck as quickly as possible, as if the necklace had suddenly felt like acid against her skin. It sure felt like it was burning a hole into my flesh when it landed in my lap.

I can’t blame her for being angry with me; honestly, I don’t think I could blame her even if she hated me; but deep down, I knew she’d get over me, over us. She was strong like that, though, but not in the ways people typically view someone as strong. She—Y/N, wasn’t extremely outspoken, no, unless she needed to be, unless she felt that what she had to say was worth saying or if she was so passionate about something, she just had to convey her zeal to the people around her. Even though she was a nursing major and in essence, a diehard science fanatic, she had spent most of our lunches last semester talking my ear off about what they were studying in her AP English class: she became quite passionate about the metaphysical poets with their extended metaphors and wouldn’t stop talking about the social statements behind absurdist drama. She was so interesting like that and one of the only people I knew that actually loved learning about new things, like, just so voracious about everything in her own little way. So, even though she was mad at me and rightfully hurt, those feelings would dissipate and she’d move on and do amazing things, which, truthfully, hurt me the most.

Y/N was right when she said that I was threatened by her shine, but not in the way I think she perceived it. It’s not like I didn’t want her to achieve great things for herself, of course I did; I just wasn’t sure how I fit into the grandiose picture of her future, which downright terrified me. Honestly, I knew that my soccer career would only last so long and that after that, I wouldn’t have much to provide for her. I had always known that I wanted to be a high school history teacher and accepted the fact that I would never be lavishly affluent, a life that Y/N was fairly accustomed to with her family. She drove a new BMW and her family had a beach house in Cape May, but she never seemed embarrassed when I picked her up in my humble truck and her family always enthusiastically invited me on vacations to their house. Her parents were surprisingly down to earth and never acted like they had money; neither of them made me feel like my family and I were less than them. Despite their warmth and affection toward me, I always had the notion that I could never take care of her like she’s used to and I managed to keep that concept quietly tucked away in the back of my mind most of the time.