Lost Boys//Phan

Prologue

2009:
Phil still remembers when he met Dan at the train station. He remembers tapping his foot impatiently, he remembers drumming his fingers against his leg, he remembers looking left and right anxiously.

And when Dan finally appeared, hopping off the train in black jeans, black hoodie, black sneakers, he was perfect. Both their faces lit up like a lightbulb when they finally saw each other. Dan ran to Phil, and he never ran. Phil opened his arms wide, the two men colliding in a hug that should have shook the earth.

Walking side by side, their fingers brushing every now and then, Dan felt his dreams coming true. He's here, with AmazingPhi- wait, he doesn't have to call him that. He did, when they Skyped or texted or messaged each other. But now it's just Phil.

Dan saw the sea in Phil's eyes, the sun in his smile, the stars in his laugh, the entire universe in his aura. All he needed was right here.
So when this perfection of a man said he loved him, Dan finally knew what it was like to be truly loved.

Phil had been red when he said those three fateful words. Yet they sounded just right, coming from him to Dan. Just as right as when he leaned down to meet Dan half way in sir first kiss.

It had been bliss; the whole world could have been set on fire, an asteroid could have collided with Earth, and they wouldn't have noticed or cared. If their final moment was this kiss, then that was okay. Everything was okay.

But they knew their love couldn't last. How can two broken men make a whole?
Phil knew that if his YouTube career didn't hold up, he'd be broke.
Dan knew if he didn't go to law school, he'd be broke.

So when their rise to fame came upon them, they immediately hopped on that happy ride to stardom, what many consider their personal version of heaven: fame. They did so together, just like everything they ever do.

But to do so, they felt they had to deny the biggest part of themselves: the other person. Dan denied being with Phil at all, taking over the platonic relationship. He spoke up for Phil, defended him, cared for him. But he denied what he loved most about Phil: that Phil was his.

But if they're losing a piece of themselves, maybe they don't want heaven?

This part and cover has been written by AshleyAMAluv  The song in my head while writing this was "Heaven" by Troye Sivan.