Endless Nights

2

"You're the strongest girl Iv'e ever known.I will forever be yours  I love you..."  he said in soft voice

"Don't please this won't be your goodbye. Fucks sake you can't go! Please don't go. I love you . I love you so damn much." I say as my hand squeezes his cold lifeless one. My cries turn into sobs as I lean closer to his body. I never imagined how this day would come, I always thought he and I would   be together forever. He can't be gone.  I want to see his smile,hear his laugh or the way he stares at the sky filled with stars at night.

"No please come back! Ryan! Please!" I scream louder and louder until his heart rate became vacant and the doctors came rushing into the room. They tried to get me out of the room but I kept fighting one of the nurses.  That I had to leave and let them take care of everything.But I couldn't hear them its as if everything became silent and I was in this horrid moment.Eventually I had left the room and out of the hospital of sorrow. The way he curved his back when he laughed or the way he smiled to strangers with a simple 'hello'. How peaceful he looked as he fell asleep. I don't need  the pity I receive when I say I have no one,I had him. Every piece of him seems so alive like he's reliving  in my mind. Every memory becomes a train to sadness.

A few days later was his funeral and there were no tears just pure emptiness. I wore a black lace dress as if it was any other day. When in reality I was getting ready to see a casket of the guy Im in love with. I talked in front off his parents,siblings and friends. He had everything Ive ever  wanted. Yet he didn't treated me like a lost cost. Without him I am a lost cost.

I hear someone screaming my name. Why are they yelling? I woke up breathless with sweat pressed against my skin. "Sky! Oh my God you're okay!" Sam says She hugs me tightly and behind her I see Michael. I had no words to why we weren't at the party or to why Michael is here at Sam's house. "How long have I've been dead for?" I ask softly I hear someone chuckle to face Michael and Sam rolls her eyes and says "You just fainted Im just glad you're okay. What happened?"  " Why the hell are you here? How did you knew she's my friend?She could be murderer." I ask looking directly at Michael. He chuckles "After you left I started to chase after you,I don't know why, Im glad I did. I just knew I had to. You're face looked so pale and your body just started leaning backwards.  I didn't know what to do. Until I made my way out of the house,I guess Sam saw me putting you in my car and started to curse me out." he explains "Hey, you're lucky I didn't hit you or something. But I wouldn't want to damage that pretty face of yours." she smirks directly at him. But his attention isn't towards her "Well I'm happy you're okay I um..okay I saved my number in your phone so Ill call you." he says looking straight at me with this look that I'm not so use to. I can't describe what it is but I do know is I don't want to be looked at that way. He turns to the door and leaves as I hear the sound of his car drive off. "He's into you." Sam breaks the silence.

I roll my eyes so far back I think I can see my brain. "Oh, please he just wants to remove my pants. Don't need another stack of problems adding to the ones that haven't been resolved." I say as I try to make myself comfortable on her bed there's no point of going out when I'm in no mood for it. "Well why would he make an effort to stay and help you? I'm pretty sure no other guy would just do all of that. Maybe he sees something in you. Look I know Ry-" "Don't ." I sternly say even if she would've have said his name it will still be remained like a stain on a T- shirt. I don't have to face her to know her face is covered in sympathy. I can't cry because there are no tears left to escape. "Sorry I'm guessing your not up for a night out. Ill be gone all night Ill be back in the morning. Call me for anything,love you!" she says before I can say it back she's out the front door. I can hear her motorcycle ride into the distance.

I turn on the tv and watch a movie based on another basic love story. I hate cliches yet the sight of a couple drained in love makes the hatred fade. Its funny how everything seems be going okay and the next thing you know the world around you has been broken. You have everything in your power to be positive but its as if the world has thrown a punch and you just can't seem to get up and fight. I just haven't gotten off the ground yet. I don't know how to when I'm stepping on shattered glass every minute is wasted.