Endless Nights

7

                   For over the past few days Michael and I have been hanging out more which made Sam envy him in a way. Our relationship or whatever this may be,is different than Sam's and I. It's always been us since our parents were hardly home. I have a feeling it won't be, since I considered him a friend but friends don't kiss or tell each other how beautiful we are to one another. I do know that I wouldn't like to stop seeing him. He reminds me a bit of Ryan's old friend. We tried hanging out but it just didn't made sense anymore,it didn't feel right. We lost contact after awhile. 

               Friday has approached which means we'll be getting ready to go head down to Michael's friends place. He had left Sam and I to get ready and will be picking us up later. We had a few hours to kill so we decided to go shopping in the mean time. Sam rarely likes to shop since she takes what she sees and buys it without trying it on. I on the other hand take my time and try every item I chose. We are currently in some store we thought that seem vintage. 

              "Should I wear a black dress or jeans and a t-shirt?" I asked Sam as we looked through racks of endless clothing. She looked at me for a second before answering and said "I think you should go with the casual dress with a jean jacket not too causal." she says as I brought two t shirt like dresses. I didn't have a fond of many colors depending on my mood but today I'll go with dark gray.

              I head over to the fitting rooms to be greeted by a girl around my age. I gave her the number of items as she pointed me to an empty fitting room. Sam trailed behind and said to not take too long even though we both know I would. First, I tried a mid thigh black short sleeved dress. I looked into my reflection and just stared back at the sight in front of me. It's been a while since I've felt pretty or to be able to like what I see. I sighed and decided against to of think of all the things I wish I could change. I knew I was pretty but at times the word doesn't seem to phase me like I have forgotten I was. I think most people have lost the meaning of what beauty is. I think some of us are still stuck on the concept of "perfect". We all wish we could change one thing to ourselves yet there isn't enough of self love. No one will ever love you as much as yourself (possibly your mom or your dog). I have forgotten I was staring at myself for too long until Sam knocked on the door. I turned around to unlock the door.

 "What's the hold up?"she says as she comes in. I shrug my shoulders. "Lost in thought I guess." I say back to her she grins as she tells me how beautiful I look and that I could get laid by wearing this dress. I laughed loudly, causing her to laugh along with me. 

"I don't even know why I'm stressing out about what to wear." I say sheepishly as she lets out a loud 'Ha!' as I flipped her off knowing why. "He'll like you either way Sky. You're hard not to like I mean I know you've felt like the lucky one but I always thought he was." she says softly looking directly at me as I hold back fresh tears. How is it I haven't seem to go without a day without wanting to cry when he is mentioned? I try to form a smile but it's useless since she knows me. She genuinely smiled at me as she focused back at her phone. 

"I'll buy it but not for tonight." I say as I start undressing myself from the dress. She hands me phone as she says "I think I heard it go off before you gave it to me." she says as I looked to see I had two unread messages one from Michael and the other from my mom. I still wasn't used to having his number in my phone since I only had Sam's,my mom and for Chinese takeout. I opened my moms first which only told me she wouldn't be home until tomorrow as usual. I then opened his.

Michael: Can't wait to see you

Me: You just saw me

Michael: haha very funny I just wouldn't like to go a day without you.