EXPERIENCED

Chapter 4

It was midnight and everyone was asleep which was a great opportunity to get the job done. I snuck into the bathroom and locked the door being careful not to make any noise. My sister was a light sleeper and anything and I mean ANYTHING could wake her up. I wasn't sure of where or how to begin. I was afraid of what people would think of me after changing. Many thoughts ran through my head, will I be judged? am I going to lose my friends because of this? is my life going to change?  I didn't know what to do. How was I going to live my life being two different people. Two different genders all at once! I took a long look at the scissors, regretting what I was about to do but at the same time I felt a jolt of excitement. I turned to look at a picture of Simon I had chosen to use as a reference. I took a deep breathe and decided I needed to just do it. Cutting the first piece of hair was hard but after I got the hang of it and soon I was done.

Crap, I had forgotten about the mess of hair that would be all over the floor. I scooped it up with my hands, after all it was my hair, and threw it in the trash then covering it with some pieces of crumpled paper. I hadn't thought about the time but boy did it take me a long time to cut all my hair which really wasn't long at all. I looked in the mirror and I couldn't recognize myself. Without any makeup, I had removed it for obvious reasons, I looked almost exactly like my brother. Same nose, same eyes and almost the same lips. His were bigger. I moved on to putting on his shirt which made it seen like I was wearing a huge blanket and the pants. Let's not even talk about it. And this was the smallest I could find. But like I said, big guy.  I called Amina and told her I would meet her outside her house, when I arrived she was sitting outside her front steps with a small metal box on her lap. We looked at each other and smiled. 

"How much you got in there?" I asked curiously, I was really hoping to have enough for what I needed.

"About 2 grand" she said with a proud smile.

"For real?" I was thrilled that I could now buy the airplane ticket. I was amazed at the amount of money we had gained over the last 10 years, through lemonade stands, girl guides and more. We had been saving up money for a trip we had planned to have when we were 9. But that's a different story .

"I think that's enough" I looked at her and I suddenly felt nostalgic. I was taken back to when we were both little girls, when we first put in a dollar each, when we swore to always tell each other everything and that we would always be there for one another. I felt a little sad saying goodbye to her.

I gave her a big hug, "thank you for everything Amina, really." she responded by hugging me back, then she took off a beautiful emerald heart shaped stone necklace and put it around my neck. I looked down at it, it was gorgeous. "It's for you, this way you'll never forget me", I could see in her eyes that she meant it and that she was worried I would find another best friend. I guess she noticed it because she cleared her throat and looked down "like I was planning to?" I said trying to make the awkwardness go away, we both laughed and hugged one last time before I started leaving for my car, "oh and by the way, you look hot!" I laughed and I gave her a thumbs up, as I drove away I looked into my rear view mirror and watched her go inside. I felt a little sad because her and I were literally inseparable and here I was, about to leave her, we'd be exactly 39 hours away. By the time I got home it was almost 5 am and my mother would be waking up soon for work so I had little time to pack my bags and drive to the airport.

At home I packed up everything that was important like my passport, the job ad with the school's address, the money and obviously clothes, although I thought I might buy some new ones. Simon didn't have the best sense of style. Then a problem came up, I wasn't sure of how I would let my mother know where I was going, so I just wrote a letter.

I'm sorry for not telling you this earlier and I don't have a lot of time to write this but I'm leaving home, I'm finally going to that one boarding school you wanted me to attend since I was 7, I'm going with a close friend in Manchester. I will be back in 6 months and I promise to write every week. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.

Lot's of love,

Val 

I though that was good enough information, for now at least. I stuck the note in her coffee cup and left her a couple dollars to help with my sister since she would be starting school first and she was very stressed about her. I then took my bag and left.  I got in my car and smiled, I tried to relax by telling myself over and over this is for Simon, this is for Simon, you're going to do it because you love him. I couldn't say for sure I was comfortable doing it but there was no turning back. I was no longer myself.