Self Harm,depression, Suicide Quotes

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"you asked me if i would cry if you killed yourself. you wondered aloud, "do you care when i am sad?"
i taste the poison in the back of your throat. i see the red in your eyes, about to burst, veins with scars railroad tracking down the line. i see your jar of good memories - you forgot about it the second week of january when your resolutions dropped to a lower frame rate. "fuck HD," you said, "i'm an existentialist."
i know that you won't change into your pyjamas in front of me because you're scared the rolls of your gentle stomach will meet the rolls of my film camera. you think the world is out to get you, out to catch you, out to snatch the home run from the sky and put you back on the base to start all over again.
are you beginning to feel the rust at the corners of your smile, where the tears on your cheeks tightened your metal skin? please let me in; i will oil your hinges, i will loosen your fears and free them so you can heave your lungs open into breath.
you see visions of your death and reside in the silence they bring you. i will not hold your quivering hand begging me, "please make it true, please make it true." i won't seal the envelope to give to your mother after you kiss the dust. i won't steady the gun to your head to make it easier, no i won't help you there. i won't write your obituary. i won't speak at your funeral.
and when your sister comes with a box of your favourite things i will say, "i do not want her here." she will shove them into my arms and i will yelp, "burn them. throw the storybooks at the children on the street, give the pillow sheets to an old woman to quilt her son's newborn a blanket." i do not want your death here. i will not kiss your cheek at the showing, there will be no heart rose sheen in the blush they painted on your skin, there will be no beauty in you asleep. i will not hold your hand into death. i will not smile upon old laughter. i will not remember your eulogy. i will not forgive you.
you asked me if you were actually going to kill yourself, could you call me.
to answer your questions, i am crying now. i feel your hurting in my wrists. i'll oil your joints to keep you here. write you worlds to keep you here. i'll sing you music until sleep pools over you to keep you here. but i won't write a speech about my dead best friend. call me."