Self Harm,depression, Suicide Quotes

163 - depression

This is what depression looks like.
Depression is not feeling down for an hour out of your day, it's not something to be glorified, it's not beautiful.
Depression is being on the brink of tears because you dropped your glass of water- depression is not having the urge to clean up the mess but to fall on the floor and cry.
Depression is feeling safety in not brushing your hair for weeks at a time.
Depression is one extreme to another you're either so high with happiness or so down that you don't think the world will have colour again.
Depression and panic attacks can hit you at work, in your car, at a birthday party, shopping centre even a club.
Some days are good, great in fact you almost feel like your better and then something small even just a look from someone or a memory can turn you into a mess.
People will ask why are you crying? what's wrong? And the only answer you can give is "I don't know but it's nothing new"
They're will be days where you roll out of bed and you'll have black under your eyes from yesterday's mascara because you had no effort to take off your makeup
Everyone will tell you it will get better and you dream of when it will be.
Some days I swear I can feel the sun radiating happiness through my body and then other days I feel nothing and everything all at once.
Depression is not easy nor is it a quick fix- and loving someone with depression is even harder, you'll watch your partner break a little when they compliment you because you can't even look at yourself without thinking of everything you want to change. And you swear you will get better if not for yourself but for them. And then when things seem to hard all you can think is they'd be better off without me- you'd rather break your own heart than keep hurting them.
Depression doesn't just hit the "kids with crap upbringings" You can have a very privileged upbringing with parents who love you unconditionally and give you anything and everything you could want and growing up some shitty things happen and that plants a seed that you carry for life.
Your friends and family will ask you to talk to them when you feel like you're about to have an episode but how do you do that when it hits at 2-3 am in the morning?
Depression is not fun, it's not a game, and it's not a quirk to add to your personality because you think it's cool.
Depression is serious and ugly and affects so so many people.
Depression doesn't just disappear, you don't suddenly wake up and decide not to feel hopeless.
It's okay to cry. It's okay to be weak sometimes. You are not bulletproof, you are human. You are capable of getting hurt. Feel the emptiness. Figure it out. Savor each tear. Grieve. Cry your heart out and ruin your mascara. Stop pretending. Unmask yourself. Breakdown if you are tired. Break. Get lost in the solitude you've been battling inside. You are hurt. ADMIT IT. Stop pretending that you are okay for the first time. And let the curve in your face be sadness rather than smiles. Let it all out. Swear if you want. It's fine. You will be healed. Be miserable.
And after, go on with your life. Leave the pain to those tears you have shed. Let the memories remain but not the mourning. Subsequently, smile. The real smile without pretension and heartaches. Be okay. Be fixable. Be happy. Live. Begin again.