Shades of Cool

t. h. i. r. t. e. e. n.

I can see the doubt in your eyes, you say "there's no such thing as better things in life."

I can't decided whether Roy's Diner is depressing or exciting at 3:37 in the morning. In the far corner is girls with heels in their hands and pancakes on their plate. Boys with grins and bacon. And elderly with playing cards and chilled cups of coffee.

I grasp my hot chocolate mug closely to me. I stare at the whip cream on the top until it slowly melts and becomes one with the coco.

"You want some more, B?" Savy has one hand on her hip and the other is equipped with a whip cream bottle.

"Hit me." I scoot my mug over to her and she tops me off. I salute her.

I hear the bell on the door jungle and my heart stops. I feel my nerves bunch in my stomach and jolt into my hand.

On the walk here I rehearsed our conversation. I thought about what he would ask me and what I would say. But when he sat across from me, I forgot all of my words.

He was wearing a black hoodie and flannel pajama bottoms. His hair was a wild mess and he had a tired smile on his face.

"Happy 3 in the morning, Blitzen." His hand dipped under the hem of his hoodie and he pulled out a sunflower with a little bit of dirt still lingering on the end.

"Finnegan Wiley, did you steal a sunflower?"

"Not only am I a kidnapper of drumsticks, I also kidnap sunflowers to impress pretty girls whose name I like to make into horrible puns."

"Consider me impressed." I laugh and rest my chin I top of my folded hands. "Wait. Did you just call me one of Santa's reindeer?"

"Hm?" He raised his eyebrows and grabbed my hot chocolate by the rim and took a sip. "I would never do such a thing. I," he touch his chest, "am a perfect gentlemen."

"For some reason I don't believe you."

"That sounds like a "you" problem." He takes another drink of my hot chocolate.

I ball up my napkin and throw it at his face. It bounces off his forehead.

"Such a violent women, you are."

I shrug.

He sets down my hot chocolate and licks the whip cream from his lips.

"Thank you. For the stolen flower." I touch the steam of the sunflower and slid it across the table.

"You're welcome." His voice is hushed.

I look up at him and I met his questioning eyes. He's searching for something in me. Always searching and reaching.

Do I want him to know this about me? I mean, I already told him that I would tell him. But I could lie. Fuck.

"I... don't know how to say it."

"Just say the first thing that comes to mind."

My mom.

"It's weird. I don't know how to explain it."