The Diary Of The Girl With ADHD

Abby-Chan probably did commit suicide!!!! Im crying!!! Pt. 36

February 22, 2016

Hey there Song bird,

It's KK here and I'm listening to I wouldn't mind it by He is We which you should probably play now over and over again and I'm crying right now. Abby probably committed suicide yesterday at some point after or later in the day after when she and I talked because she wasn't at school today and she never responded and it was SO hard to tell Carly and show her the texts and Carly was crying a little and it hurt so badly and I called Abby but she didn't pick up and now I'm sad and crying I don't know what to do anymore I probably lost one of my best friends I loved and cared about as if she was my little sister. I wish it was me instead of Abby that died because Abby had so much to live for and she was with Carly. And Carly told me about Abby's parents hating Abby and so Julie one of Carly's and my friends told Carly something about herself that was a little sad and that would try and help Carly feel better and so I said you guys already know about Kori emotionally hurting me and that she caused my scratches on my arms and so I pointed at a scare that Carly saw before and said,"Carly you were right that was a deeper scratch then usual." And when I got home I gone to my room and cried and cried until I gone to do my homework but after that I cried some more until dinner and after dinner I cried a little bit more but I got done crying and now it's a little while later and I started crying again cause Abby was my best friend that I cared and loved as a sister that I never thought I would possibly lose to suicide. I want this song in this chapter to be for Carly and Abby since they loved each other SO much and they are my best friends that I love and care about like their my sisters and I don't want to lose Carly to suicide like I possibly lost Abby to suicide. #Carbby which is their ship name I came up with for them and I can't believe this is happening. It's a possibility I lost my best friend to suicide that I cared about as a sister!!! It's hard to know that you probably lost one of your best friends to suicide that you loved and cared about as a little sister! I now know how hard it was on Kori when I felt suicidal I now no what it feels like when someone you look as a best friend and a sister has probably committed suicide. I can't stop crying anymore, she is probably dead and Carly is probably gonna be mad at me for NOT trying to stop her from committing suicide when I have talked to Abby ONLY yesterday morning trying to convince her that suicide wasn't the right choice. I wish it was me instead of Abby because Carly loves Abby and last person I ever loved told me to go to hell in an argument and it's hard to STOP thinking of Kori EVERY second of EVERYDAY of what happened. I now know how Kori felt when I wanted to die, I know now how Kori would feel if I committed suicide. Poor Abby though she had a LONG life to live and she will probably NEVER get the chance to see that things will get better and fall in love, get married, and have kids with her partner!!! I can't stop crying!!!! I don't know what to do anymore but cry!!!!! But it's not all of Kori's fault I now realize that Kori has tried to be there every step of the way. But right now I can't believe this is happening!!! Kori is also one of my best friends forever that I won't EVER forget and won't lose to suicide or cutting to deep like I possibly lost my best friend Abby to!!! I can't believe this anymore!!!!

See ya tomorrow Songbird,
-KK 🎶🏹🎶