Living In The Shadows

Chapter 1

   It's December 25th and I find myself sitting in the visiting room in front of my only best friend. At least that's what I've been calling her since she's the only person who comes and visits me. She's been coming only once a month and I've been here three months.

   My hands are under the table shaking as if I was taking a test that I didn't study for. My skin is white as paper because I haven't been in the sun since I came here and every time I try to go outside I get horrible migraines. I have huge dark circles under my eyes for the fact that I haven't slept in over a week. The natural blush that I once had, is gone. My hair is in all directions as if someone had just ran their hands through it a bunch of times. My lips were dry and had tiny cuts from all the biting I did during my counseling sessions.

  I looked down to see my bitten nails from biting them all the time at the meetings I have with the psychiatrist and my scars that yet haven't disappeared. When I looked up, I saw Jessie looking around with a disgusted look on her face. When she noticed that I had finally looked up, she stopped looking around and gave me an apologetic smile. "How are you feeling?" She asks.

   I looked back down and brought my my nails to my wrist and started scratching it until there was blood coming out of my scars. I've been here three months and I still can't get over anything that had happened. Every night I scratch my whole body until I see drops of blood coming out my scratch marks. Doctors had tried many things to stop me from doing that habit but every time someone asks me how I'm feeling, it comes back.

   I stopped scratching and looked up to look at Jessie. "Fine." I looked back down to see drops of blood sliding down my wrist. I quickly grabbed my sleeve and wiped off the blood.

Jessie bend down to grab something and came back up and sat a box on the table wrapped in Christmas paper with a bow on top. "I got you a little something," she pushed the box towards me and waited patiently for me to open it. "Got ahead, open it."

I pulled my hands out of the table and grabbed the box. I looked at Jessie and she had a smile on her face with her hands folded on the table. I unwrapped the box until it was a naked box in front of me. I opened the box and clenched my jaw when I saw that it was a box full of makeup.

I looked at Jessie and by now her eyes were glowing with excitement and her smile reached all the way to her eyes. "Do you like it?"

"Yes, thank you." I grabbed the box and put it on the ground.

   When visiting hours were over, I quickly grabbed the box and headed to Gina's room. Gina is an elderly woman who's been here for over ten years. She says her daughters were tired of dealing with her so they sent her here. She says she'd rather be here than be with them. Gina loves makeup to whole new level. She spends her money that her daughters send her to buy her makeup. Her room is full beauty products and beauty posters. 

   I knocked on the door and heard her say come in. She was sitting on her chair fixing her hair. I went over to her side and extended the box towards her. "Merry Christmas, Gina." 

"Well what's this?" She grabbed the box and looked inside. When she saw what it was, she put the box down and stood up to hugged me. Me and Gina had become good friends since I got here. We both know that we are not supposed to be in here so we became friends. I understand her and she understands me.

"Oh sweetie, you didn't have to get me anything!" She looked back down at the box and hugged me one more time.

"It's okay, I got it from a friend and since I don't use this crap then I thought you'd like it." I smiled at her and gave her one last hug before leaving her room.

___

After mid afternoon, everyone has to wait in their rooms for their counseling session. I waited on my bed curled up in a ball with my arms around my knees. I rocked myself back and forth waiting for my turn. I waited ten minutes before a guard came into my room and told me it was my turn. I walked silently next to the guard to Mr. Khals's office. Mr. Khals is the man who makes sure everyone in the clinic has a counseling session. It can be thirty minutes or even five minutes but everyone had to have one.

I walked inside and sat in a chair in front of his desk and folded my hands against my lap. He set his pencil down and cleared his throat. "Good afternoon, Violet," he grabbed a folder and put it in front of him. "I want to continue our session from Friday. How are you doing with being a little more polite to others?"

I looked up to him and almost jumped out of my seat to attack him. He's been lecturing me about being more nicer to the people who work here. Apperantly my attitude is not good enough so I have to go to counseling three times a week.

"I'm doing great." I answered with my coldest voice. I was getting already irritated with this session so I brought my nails to my wrist and started starching it.

Mr. Khals eyed me for second before shaking his head in disbelief and started writing something in the folder. "Violet, you can't continue to behave like this. Remember if you don't make progress then you won't be able to get out of here any time sooner," He tilted his head low eyeing me outside his glasses. "Do you want to get out of here?" He said quietly almost whispering.

"Yes." I looked back down and saw a great amount of blood staining my white pants. Scratch harder.

"Then you have to work with me here. I can't help you if you don't want my help." He looked back down and wrote some more notes on his paper. After five minutes passed, Mr. Khals stopped writing and stared at me for a second. "Listen Vi I kno-" I interrupted him.

"I've you told many times not to call me that," I looked down my lap and almost whispered, "only my family and friends can call me that." I wiped a tear that had escaped and my hands started to shake uncontrollably. I wanted to get out of here, I wanted to run away and never see this place ever again.

"Now Violet, we both know you have no family or friends. You have no one, we are your family."

   I stood up straight in my chair and leaned in to his face. "How about you Mr. Khals, do you have friends and family?" I asked quietly. He looked at me with so much hatred it felt like he was going to shoot me with his look. When no answered came from his mouth, I continued on, "Because for all I know is that your life is just as fucked up as mine," I leaned back in the chair and put up my feet on his desk. "There's this rumor where it says that you are in the middle of a divorce and that your soon to be ex-wife thinks your a horrible father so she's taking the kids with her-" I was barely able to continue when Mr. Khals slammed his fist on the desk and gave me the most deadly look I've ever seen him give.

"Enough! I've had enough of you and your stupid comments," he raised his arm and pointed at the door, "get our of my office right now."

   I stood up and smiled at him. "More than welcome to." I turned around to the door and walked out with my head high. I'm the type of person who if she gets pissed, than she won't shut up. Doesn't matter if I'm right or wrong, I will always argue with you.

   I walked inside my room and lied down looking up at the ceiling. Right now, everybody is celebrating Christmas and having the time of their lives while I am here, wanting to kill every person in this clinic. I am here alone with no one to share my inner thoughts with. I am here and I will always be here as long as I stay alive.

___

Hope you guys enjoyed!

Pleases vote and share it!
-Bizzleflyy