Flutterdash

Falling Apart

Fluttershy's POV

It was an effort to get out of bed lately. School wasn't much better. Being at home was never any good. Life just seemed to go on and on without anything to it.

Now I know you're probably thinking, "it was just a girl. What's wrong with you?" I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't find a reason to do, well, anything.

It's been four days since Rainbow Dash and Soarin got back together. I've avoided her for pretty much the whole time excluding the few times I bumped into her.

We were sitting in the cafeteria today when she walked to our table and started asking the girls something, I wasn't paying attention.

All of a sudden the whole table looked at me, Rainbow included.

"S-sorry what?" I asked

"Do you think we should let Rainbow Dash here sit with us today?" Rarity asked.

I shrugged. "I don't care."

They eventually allowed her to sit with us. She took a seat next to Pinkie, across from me. Rarity kept glancing at me as lunch went on. Nobody was talking.

After about five minutes I stood up and left the cafeteria. I was hoping someone would follow me but when I looked back they were all just staring at Rainbow Dash.

Rainbows P.O.V

I thought they would be over it by now but they clearly aren't. It's been four days and they're still mad at me.

Fluttershy just left without saying anything and now the four of them are giving stares that would kill.

"What?" I ask.

"You still haven't apologized to her." Twilight said.

"For what? Being happy?"

"Listen Dash, if you aren't going to go say sorry to her then just leave us alone."

"Come on you guys, I'm just trying to be happy. I thought you of all people would support me."

"You hurt Fluttershy. She isn't okay if you haven't noticed." Pinkie said.

"All I did was get back together with Soarin. How'd that hurt her?"

"You're so blind Rainbow." Applejack picked up her bag and left.

"I'll go find fluttershy..." Rarity said, getting up from her seat.

"You guys I-"

"We don't care." Twilight said. "When you've sorted out your priorities come and talk to us."

With that I was left all alone at the table. What did Applejack mean when she said I was blind? Fluttershy couldn't possibly have been hurt that much, could she?

I stood up and left the cafeteria too, heading in the direction Fluttershy went. If I were Fluttershy where would I go?

Fluttershy's P.O.V

I can't sit with her, I cant. Nobody even saw me leave. They were all too wrapped up in her. But then again why wouldn't they be? She's the Rainbow Dash and I'm just well me. I wish I wasn't so shy or annoying or invisible but that's all I seem to be. At least I'm finally alone. Away from everyone giving me looks of pity and sympathy.

After I left the cafeteria my first choice was to go to the bathroom again but I knew they would all go looking there eventually. If they even looked. So instead I decided to find the janitors closet and that's where I'm sitting now.

Thoughts swirl through my head like a hurricane, destroying anything I thought I knew. I can't help but wonder if my life matters or if anyone would notice if I ceased to exist or if there's some void I could fling myself into.

I've tried not to think such negative thoughts. I really have but I can't help it. I'm not good at anything. I can't do anything right, I feel pathetic.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't want to feel this pain anymore. I just want everything to go away.

I just want to go numb.

~ Authors note~
Alright I'm going to apologize again. I meant to be better but my life kind of fell apart recently and I've  been trying to put it back together. I'll try again to update more often but I can't promise anything. I'm really super duper sorry. Please forgive this bean.
Also thank you to everyone who reads this story. Really makes me feel all warm and gooey.