As I walk into the house after the first day of my senior year, I stopped dead in my tracks while all the things that happened today are suddenly rušhing trough my head over and over again. I couldnt stop my thoughts.
"You're a worthless piece of shit and shouldn't be here. Worthless.....shit...die."
My thoughts were overwelming. Why me? What did I do, what do I do. As I bust out in tears I feel my mom talking to me, finally I come out of my thoughts. "ISSY WHATS WRONG" As she talks, she is embracing me and I cant help not to break down once again. As my usual cover up, I told her i had a headache. She knew better..but I was in no mood to talk about what had went on today.
I just wanted to lay down and listen to my best friends song albums, they always made things better. I havent saw him in almost 3 months because he was on tour around the world and almost never had a break, i was happy for him. His new band, one direction, were big. His band consist of 5 boys. Louis, zayn, liam, Naill, and him, harry. They were every where, all over twitter/facebook/instagram, they were always on the news and on magazine covers. It was incredible, Harry Styles was actually my bestfriend, my bestfriend was famous. He was living his dream, and im glad hes happy, he has always wanted to be a singer. Hes quite
good at singing too, he has always sang to me when im down. Since my freshman year of highschool we have always been attached at the hip. We never did anything alone. He was the only one that was there for me..now he isnt here, i know he is spirtually, but physically he isnt and it hurts. As
Im thinking..theyre song 'what makes you beautiful' comes on, its the only thing that has made me smile all day. So I pull out my phone..
To: Harryyyyyyy; I miss you..I need somebody and your not here. Call me soon, love Issyboo.
"Issyboo" is Harrys nickname for me..ive always had a problem with it, but now that i think of harry calling me that, i love it.
I jumped as my phone vibrated in my lap nonstop. I was getting a call and it was from....harry!! As i picked up the phone i couldnt hardly talk because i was filled with excitement, i havent heard his voice in so long!
Harry: whats wrong love? Me: oh its nothing, i just miss my best friend.
Harry: no, i know you better than that..your my issy and something more is wrong. (WAIT, HE JUST CALLED ME HIS ISSY, WHAT.)
Me: i just had a rough day, the usual. Before i could finish my sentence, Harry was singing to me..my favorite song that he always used to sing, 'you are beautiful.' As he is singing, i cant help but burst out in tears because i miss him so much..his voice, his eyes, his everything. I heard someone in the background say "harry, come one we gotta get on the plane! Then he made a very obnocious 'shhhhhh' to who ever said that. Weird.
Harry: im sorry, ill be home soon and it will all be better. You just have a good birthday, i will call you tomorrow. I got to go now, love you issyboo.
Me: love you too, harry.
With that, our phone call was over..i wanted to talk to harry, tell him what happened..tell him how people have been treating me since he wasnt there. I was too afraid too. I dont know why, i just was. Gis singing helped a lot, just talking to him helped a lot. Ive always loved Harry..really loved him. He really loves me too. I decide to lay down to get some rest because my mom told me she had a big suprise for my 18th birthday tomorrow, what could it be? I think..as I drift into sleep.
